Honoring Frenchy’s 1000th Hit and His Crazy Eyes

Jeff Francoeur‘s crazy eyes have charmed, mesmerized, and terrified the masses for years. In (belated) recognition of Jeff Francoeur’s memorable 1000th hit, here is their NotGraphs debut:

This picture, courtesy of Minda Haas, was taken at the Royals’ off-season Fan Fest. It is perhaps the most chilling photo of Frenchy’s soul-windows yet. What could possibly be going through his mind?

“All take and no swing makes Jeff a dull boy.”

“Some people say I’m streaky, and that I always tail off after a slow start. But I’ll show them, I’ll get to two WAR in the middle of May, and by the beginning of September, I’ll still be around two WAR. Consistency!”

“Flannel shirt under a Royals jersey? What was I thinking?”

“Everyone thinks I’m here for the chance to play every day… hahaha… fools… Revenge will finally be mine, Posnanski!”

“I hope the Royals are a Delta team.”

“Sure, Alex Gordon, go ahead, have a monster season. The Royals’ official press will pay more attention to every super-meaningful benchmark I reach, anyway.”

“I hope right field was the smartest place to bury that Mets clubbie.”




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Matt Klaassen reads and writes obituaries in the Greater Toronto Area. If you can't get enough of him, follow him on Twitter.


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michaelfranko
Member
michaelfranko
4 years 10 months ago

I’m pretty sure that’s actually a blue Burberry shirt, not a flannel one.

Which tells you all you need to know about the economics of baseball: even if you’re not a very good player, you can still afford pretty nice things.

James
Guest
James
4 years 10 months ago

“Wait, Bruce Willis was a ghost the WHOLE time?”

James
Guest
James
4 years 10 months ago

Francoeur is on high alert just in case any Mets fans are in the crowd.

Matty Brown
Guest
Matty Brown
4 years 10 months ago

He’s probably thinking about how little of a fuck he gives about bring there

Blue
Guest
Blue
4 years 10 months ago

“25 floor tiles one way and 33 floor tiles the other way means 815 total tiles in the room. Wait, no, that’s 825 tiles.”

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