Comparing Mariners to Game of Thrones Characters

Baseball is Coming

Did you know the best show on television, Game of Thrones, returns to our humble screens this Sunday? Did you also know that baseball premiered on our televisions in earnest last Sunday? It’s impossible that these events are a mere coincidence, so I’ve done the lord’s work by taking the next step and comparing members of the Seattle Mariners to our fictional friends in Westeros.

Jack Z is King Joffrey
The man in charge, whom most would like to see dethroned.

Tony Blengino is Tyrion Lannister
Smart man who quietly led the charge to victory before beige exiled. Also, this writer’s favorite character.

Lloyd McLendon is Jon Snow
Important character that I don’t really care about.

Franklin Gutierrez is Robb Stark
A sexy fan favorite who was felled by less-than-honorable means.

Felix Hernandez is Tywin Lannister
He may not be the actual King, but he might as well be.

Robinson Cano is The Hound
Was with the evil empire for many years, but finally got fed up and left for greener pastures.

Jesus Montero is Daenerys Targaryen
Trying to reclaim their honor, and in possession of ample bosoms.

Michael Saunders is Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish
Has a place no matter the regime, and not afraid to fight for a larger role.

Willie Bloomquist is Lord Varys 
Sticks around no matter the regime, and willing to do what it takes to help the realm succeed.

Brad Miller is Arya Stark
Awkward but deadly.

Justin Smoak is a Dragon
Took awhile to get going, but now on the verge of creating havoc.

Taijuan Walker is Daario Naharis
A late entry last season who will likely make a bigger impact this year.

Corey Hart is Oberyn Martell
First seen in town this season, but could have a major impact.

Because comments are supposed to show that people like a post, I welcome your own submissions, be it from the Mariners or your dumb team of choice. If you post a spoiler, I will #FightYouIRL.

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Zach is the creator and co-author of RotoGraphs' Roto Riteup series, and RotoGraphs' second-longest tenured writer. You can follow him on twitter.

31 Responses to “Comparing Mariners to Game of Thrones Characters”

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  1. Jay29 says:

    Six of these are dead by the end of book 5.

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  2. Semi Pro says:

    Only four are *certainly* dead; the other two are very much potentially among the living.

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  3. nmh says:

    Miguel Olivo is Hodor and Chone Figgins is Bran. Olivo protects Figgins while in LA, while providing little interest.

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  4. chris says:

    Perhaps the way to state this is “there exists an n such that 13 of these are dead by the end of book n”, or, equivalently, “13 is the limit as n -> infinity of the number of these dead by the end of book n”.

    In any case, I think we are all in agreement that NotGraphs could stand to incorporate a little more topology in their product.

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  5. Jenstrom says:

    Jeffrey Loria is also King Joffrey, I think.

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  6. tz says:

    Any suggestions for Danny Farquhar?

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  7. Soup is Back says:

    The Seahawks are the Others/white walkers.

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  8. bluetuzo says:

    The Super Sonics are the Valyrians

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  9. bluetuzo says:

    KGJ is Ned? Everyone still yearns for him even after he is long gone. His presence is always there. Will always be the standard towards which we all strive.

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  10. Pinstripe Wizard says:

    Nick Franklin as Theon Greyjoy. The regime didn’t want him and now he’s on a mission to prove them all wrong. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t end up being emasculated by his little sister and tortured in a dungeon.

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  11. @ositf_blog says:

    Raúl Ibañez is Godric Gryffindor!

    +5 Vote -1 Vote +1

  12. Lord Snark of Winterfell says:

    Are the Mariners the #6 kingdom in the realm?

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  13. Art Vandelay says:

    Nice URL. Trying to get me fired, huh?

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  14. Nevin says:

    Fernando Rodney = Barristan Selmy.

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  15. AR says:

    Dustin Ackley is Aemon Targaryen because I’m still not sure that he can see the ball.

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  16. Mr. Observant says:

    John Buck = Hodor. HODOR!

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  17. James Hogg says:

    I thought I was going to hate this but I actually kind of love it

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  18. BHunt says:

    Raúl Ibañez is Aemon Targaryen, due to their proximity of age.

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  19. Jimbo says:

    Jayson Werth as Mance Rayder aka the king beyond the wall has been done:

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  20. david says:

    chris young is gregor clegane. a giant mercenary who may also possibly be re-animated.

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