George Brett Poops Himself

This past weekend at the FanGraphs gathering in Phoenix, Mr. Carson Cistulli stated that he had never seen the George Brett-poops-himself video. I couln’t believe it, so I decided to hook him up. In case some of our other readers have also been deprived of this video, “enjoy.”

[Ed. Note: contains a wide and winning variety of explicit language.]

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Jeff writes for FanGraphs, The Hardball Times and Royals Review, as well as his own website, Baseball Heat Maps with his brother Darrell. In tandem with Bill Petti, he won the 2013 SABR Analytics Research Award for Contemporary Analysis. Follow him on Twitter @jeffwzimmerman.

10 Responses to “George Brett Poops Himself”

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  1. “I’m good twice a year for that”: still unpacking this sentence, and will likely continue to do so all day.

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  2. Kyle says:

    I welcome any excuse to revisit these videos. Thank you (?)

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  3. mattmaison says:

    Would love to see a ‘Where Are They Now’ with the other players in that video and have them talk about what they were thinking as he was telling the story.

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  4. Fletch says:

    I’m still laughing at “the most perfect double-tapered **** I’ve ever had in my life.” Definitely one of those rare moments when TMI is flat-out awesome.

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  5. dudley says:

    that wasn’t pine tar.

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  6. Dauber says:

    Little known fact–George may have gotten more than his share of the family baseball talent, but you will not find a better fecal story teller in the Brett than Mr. Kenneth Alven Brett.

    In fact, George was always known in his hometown, as “the other sh*t-takin’ Brett.” Ken was king, and George never came to terms with it, even stealing Ken’s trademark “perfect double-tapered sh*t” line and trying to boost his stats by exaggerating that he’d sh*t himself “twice a year”. A quick search found that in no year has George had a woopsCRAP above 1 and has lifetime yearly average of 0.27. Sadly, this does happen when one sibling’s talent outshines the other’s.

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  7. mattc says:

    How do you think he ended up with that raging case of hemorrhoids.

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  8. Ethman says:

    “Straight water”

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