Get Your Gatorade SiriusXM Tampax Mitsubishi Zyrtec Boar’s Head Taco Bell Metamucil 2013 All-Star Game Tickets Today!

This is real, from

Each [All-Star ticket] strip includes one ticket to each All-Star Week event at the ballpark, two MLB All-Star FanFest tickets and one Official All-Star Game program. All-Star Week begins with the FanFest at Javits Center from July 12-16. Taco Bell All-Star Sunday is July 14 and features the SiriusXM All-Star Futures Game and the Taco Bell All-Star Legends & Celebrity Softball Game. All-Star batting practice and the Home Run Derby highlight Gatorade All-Star Workout Day on July 15, and then the granddaddy of all megastar gatherings returns with the 84th All-Star Game on July 16.

The granddaddy of all megastar gatherings, eh? And can they fit any more sponsor names into this paragraph? I hate the All-Star Game.

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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Mr. Observant
Mr. Observant

This First National Bank NotGraphs Comment by McDonalds brought to you by and Starbucks Coffee:

What were they giving away agin? A grandfather? A crystal meth pipe and a bag of ba salts? Zah?

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