GIF: Tampa’s Gladiators

There are two gladiators here, fierce and prepped for battle. They read from inspirational poetry of their times before heading into combat.

“Eat lettuce and soft apples eat:
For you, Phoebus, have the harsh face of a defecating man.”
Roman poet Martial, circa 100 AD

They clang steal, they shout epithets. They practice fierceness and they ready their minds for the conflict that stands in front of them.

And yet their identity remains unknown.

Perhaps one is…

Alex Rodriguez‘s cousin? Or the centaur?
Sam Fuld?
Andrew Friedman.
MF Doom?
Caligula come to dine upon the innards of the competition?
Drew Sutton? Or the guy he was replacing? Or was Sutton the guy who got injured and needed replacing.
The missing (titular) devil?
Chris Carter — either one?
Brandon Allen?




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Graphs: Baseball, Roto, Beer, brats (OK, no graphs for that...yet), repeat. Follow him on Twitter @enosarris.


5 Responses to “GIF: Tampa’s Gladiators”

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  1. matt says:

    but, seriously, what is mf doom doing in the rays dugout?

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  2. oldschoolways says:

    That’s an MF Doom mask. Or at least the front strongly resembles an MF Doom mask, I guess he cuts the rest of it off so it’s just a mask with a strap around it or somesuch. The Rays are just too cool, I wouldn’t be shocked if they did let Metal Fingers wander the dugout.

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    • Eno Sarris says:

      That’s pretty stupid of me to forget. MF Doom is in my playlist too. Still had fun with the gladiator bit. Think they must have been, too, on some level, unless the whole team are Doomheads.

      Looks like it’s not an MF Doom mask actually. But I put him in there anyway, thanks for the heads up!

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  3. sulla_felix says:

    Martial was a poet, not a prose writer.

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