GIF: Tampa’s Gladiators

There are two gladiators here, fierce and prepped for battle. They read from inspirational poetry of their times before heading into combat.

“Eat lettuce and soft apples eat:
For you, Phoebus, have the harsh face of a defecating man.”
Roman poet Martial, circa 100 AD

They clang steal, they shout epithets. They practice fierceness and they ready their minds for the conflict that stands in front of them.

And yet their identity remains unknown.

Perhaps one is…

Alex Rodriguez‘s cousin? Or the centaur?
Sam Fuld?
Andrew Friedman.
MF Doom?
Caligula come to dine upon the innards of the competition?
Drew Sutton? Or the guy he was replacing? Or was Sutton the guy who got injured and needed replacing.
The missing (titular) devil?
Chris Carter — either one?
Brandon Allen?

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With a phone full of pictures of pitchers' fingers, strange beers, and his two toddler sons, Eno Sarris can be found at the ballpark or a brewery most days. Read him here or at October. Follow him on Twitter @enosarris.

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but, seriously, what is mf doom doing in the rays dugout?