Gil Hodges Literally Has Blood on His Hands

Gil Hodges’ large hands probably helped him to become a pretty good baseball player. The first-baseman hit 370 HR and had a career WAR of 41.8.

Those same hands might have made him good at murder, too.


Sure, Gil Hodges would be happy to crush your skull for you!

It’s easy to find several photographs of Hodges that highlight the size of his hands. Apparently, their size distracted both photographers and the public from the fact that Hodges always very literally had blood on his hands.


Hodges, indicating the number of people he murdered on the way to the park, presumably.

Gil Hodges is one of those players about whom there’s some Hall of Fame argument. Were his numbers good enough for a first baseman — or for any non-shortstop/non-catcher? Arguably, they were not. But if BoOH+ (Blood on One’s Hands Above Average) were factored into WAR, perhaps there’d be some revitalization for Hodge’s Hall of Fame case.


The well-oiled soupbones of Gil Hodges are, as always, fresh with carnage.




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5 Responses to “Gil Hodges Literally Has Blood on His Hands”

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  1. Dayton Moore says:

    His hands don’t look that big, actually. Now Jeff Francouer, there was a boy with big hands! And big hands lets you have a handsy swing but still hit for power… I think I’m going to give him another year to figure it all out.

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  2. James K. says:

    I literally have cum on my hands. Where’s my article?

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    • Menthol says:

      Where’s our picture?

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      • James K. says:

        If there’s one thing that I learned from image searching “cum hands” on the internet it’s that there aren’t nearly enough pictures of people with cum on their hands as there ought to be.

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