Google Results for Commonly Misspelled Player Names: A Pointless Contest

Here’s a fun game, if you’ve already finished the rest of the Internet. Try to find a baseball player where the number of Google results for a misspelled version of his name come closest to the number of results for his name spelled correctly.

For instance… Todd Zeile: 84,100 results. Todd Ziele: 6,240 results.

So that’s not so close.

Think you’ve figured out the trick here? Andruw Jones: 752,000 results. Andrew Jones… any guesses? Amazingly, only 417,000 results. A lot of people write about baseball on the Internet, compared to writing about ordinary people whose names are spelled appropriately.

Maybe the trick is to use obscure players. Marcus Semien: 32,000 results (31,000 of them link to FanGraphs). Marcus Semen: only 486 results, and most of them unsafe for work.

Jhonny Peralta: 923,000. Johnny Peralta: 58,200. Jake Peralta, Andy Samberg’s character on Brooklyn Nine-Nine: 31,400.

Wladimir Balentien: 121,000. Vladimir Balentien: 1,440. Vladimir Balentine: 42 results.

Can you find one where the misspelling exceeds the correct one? That’s your challenge, bored-at-work readers. That’s your challenge.



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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


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Derek Carson
Guest
Derek Carson

First try:
Clay Buchholz – 826,000 results
Clay Buccholz – 1,470,000 results, many from Boston.com and CBS Boston. Great work guys

Yirmiyahu
Member

Weird. For me:
“Clay Buchholz” = About 791,000 results
“Clay Buccholz” = About 90,400 results
“Clay Buckholz” = About 11,500 results
“Clay Buckholtz” = About 6,640 results
“Clay Buchholtz” = About 4,380 results

Daneeka
Guest
Daneeka

Checks out for me, though I can’t believe it.

Art Vandelay
Guest
Art Vandelay

On that note:
Jon Lester – 289,000
John Lester – 527,000

Fred Vincy
Guest

Pity Hall of Famer Dennis Brouthers — only 117,000 Google hits, and Google even asks, “Did you mean Dennis Brothers” (78,300,000 hits).

Fred Vincy
Guest

He went by “Dan”, but Dan Brouthers yields even fewer hits (approx. 41,000).

The Stranger
Member

Looks like you did it without quotes. With quotes you get:
Brouthers – 1,180
Brothers – 28,500

Jaack
Guest
Jaack

I assume this exercise is to be done with quotes but without them…
Andrew McCutchen: 1,620,000
Andrew McCutcheon: 17,900,000

Pirates Hurdles
Guest
Pirates Hurdles

I immediately thought of Cutch too, if querying message board posters it is probably 5 to 1 for the misspelling. Its even more bizarre that people want to add a silent letter.

PioneerSkies
Guest

Mat Latos – About 433,000 results (0.18 seconds)
Matt Latos – About 17,000 results (0.15 seconds)

scatterbrian
Member
Member
scatterbrian

“mark mcgwire” = About 381,000 results
“mark mcguire” = About 459,000 results

scatterbrian
Member
Member
scatterbrian

“jeff bagwell” = About 550,000 results
“cheater” = About 5,700,000 results

The Stranger
Member

“Kevin Millar” – 285,000
“Kevin Miller” – 1,140,000

Adam
Guest
Adam

Brayan Pena- 920,000
Bryan Pena- 65,000,000

Wobatus
Guest
Wobatus

Ruben Tejada 1,520,000
Reuben Sandwich 2,630,000

Projected Steamer WAR in both cases = 1.6

tz
Guest
tz

Evan Longoria = 5,880,000 hits
Eva Longoria = 17,900,000 hits

Wow!

tz
Guest
tz

Marc Rzepczynski = 92,200 results
maoahpfn oifuha = 7 results,

However:
mrksadghso = 1,360,000 results

Matthew Cornwell
Guest
Matthew Cornwell

Mark Buehrle – 751,000

Mark Buhrle – 1,030.000
Mark Beuhrle – 171,000
Mark Buerlhe – 26,700
Mark Burhle – 115,000

The Real Faux Carson Cistulli
Guest
The Real Faux Carson Cistulli

Corey Kluber = 133,000

God = 368,000,000

Gardsy's Guy
Guest
Gardsy's Guy

Dayn Perry = 128,000

Dom Perignon = 1,100,000

cktai
Guest
cktai

“Manny Machado” 1030000
“Manly Machado” 23
Manly Machado 6230000

Tim
Guest
Tim

Johan Santana: 339,000
Johan Santa: 62,400

Tim
Guest
Tim

Ervin Santana: 735,000

Matthew Murphy
Member

The infamous Johan Santa strikes again.

Yirmiyahu
Member

Also a fun game is Googling “_________ is a” and looking at the suggested results.

For instance, “Alex Rodriguez is a”:
jerk
liar
joke
douchebag
disgrace
centaur
idiot

DD
Guest
DD

If he were a centaur no one would be accusing him of anything.

John Elway
Member

NEIGHHHHH!!!!!!!

pinch
Guest
pinch

i appreciate the link to your twitter. not for the content, but for the 1 follower assuring me that everybody else hates you commenting on things like this as much as i do.

MustBunique
Member
Member

Thought this was dead, thought I was glad it was over, glad to be wrong on both counts.

Joser
Guest
Joser

Those suggestions will also reflect what you yourself have typed in the past.

Tim
Guest
Tim

Roberto Heredia Hernández: 4580
Fausto Carmona: 225,000

Tim
Guest
Tim

Gabe Kapler: 173,000
Gabe Kaplan: 160,000

samuelraphael
Guest

“Alex S Gonzalez” – 52,500 results
“Alex L Gonzalez” – 135,000 results

cass
Guest
cass

“Jordan Zimmermann” 375,000 results
“Jordan Zimmerman” 140,000 results

Paul G.
Guest
Paul G.

“Graig Nettles” 173,000
“Greg Nettles” 9,750
“Gregg Nettles” 9,500
“Craig Nettles” 17,600

Tim
Guest
Tim

Youppi: 245,000
Yuppie: 1,130,000
Yippee: 1,290,000

Paul G.
Guest
Paul G.

“Gregory Nettles” 4,110

The image results are great. First one is a superhero from Marvel comics, the second’s a dude’s selfie.

Dallas Keuchel
Guest
Dallas Keuchel

Dallas Keuchel – 75,900
Dallas Keuchel dancing – 31,100
Dirty dancing – 79,600,000
Tiptoe through the tulips – 369,000
Troy Tulowtizki – 810,000
Troy Patton – 3,860,000(!)
Houston Astros – 20,600,000
Dallas Keuchel – 75,900

Clock
Guest
Clock

David Ortiz = 28,000,000

David Ortis = 34,900,000

David Ortiz wife = 1,370,000

Not sure how any of that makes sense.

Art Vandelay
Guest
Art Vandelay

quotation marks are your friend in this exercise.
“David Ortiz” – 1,2000,000
“David Ortis” – 13,800

Art Vandelay
Guest
Art Vandelay

*1,200,000

MustBunique
Member
Member

And you wanna be my latex salesman.

El Tim
Guest
El Tim

Justin Duchscherer (correct) = 56,600 results

Justin Duchsherer (incorrect) = 159,000 results

El Tim
Guest
El Tim

Thought the community might appreciate a more thorough analysis.

Justin Ducsch = 14,700 results: -2 deviation of ‘er’s
Justin Duchscher = 45,300 results: -1 deviation of ‘er’s
Justin Duchscherer = 56,600 results: 0 deviation of ‘er’s
Justin Duchschererer = 10 results: +1 deviation of ‘er’s
Justin Duchscherererer = 47 results: +2 deviation of ‘er’s
Justin Duchschererererer = 189 results: +3 deviation of ‘er’s

Grandpa Cistulli
Guest
Grandpa Cistulli

But what about -3 deviations of ‘er’s?

Name *
Guest
Name *

Mark Apple 36,600

Mark Appel 169,000

triple_r
Member

Dayan Viciedo: 191,000 results.
Day oh video: 4,190,000,000 results.

Dave P
Guest
Dave P

Derrick Lee – 268,000
Derek Lee – 721,000

Derrek Lee – 400,000

Dave P
Guest
Dave P

Equality!

“Matt Holiday” 275,000
“Matt Holliday” 275,000

Art Vandelay
Guest
Art Vandelay

I tried that one too. It’s showing you the results for “Matt Holliday” both times if you read the blue writing at the top of the results.

Dave B
Guest
Dave B

Actual Name Changers:

Brian S. Giles-2,150,000
Brian Giles-9,400,000

Howie Kendrick-399,000
Howard Kendrick-14,100,000

Kendry Morales-209,000
Kendrys Morales-384,000

DrM
Guest
DrM

“Richie Allen” 14400
“Dick Allen” 250000

“Evan Longoria” 481000
“Eva Longoria” 10,700,000

Brad Johnson
Member
Member

Jason Werth – 5.16 million results
Jayson Werth – 4.83 million results

Brad Johnson
Member
Member

With quotes equals equality

Jason Werth – 1.13 million
Jayson Werth – 1.13 million

Art Vandelay
Guest
Art Vandelay

same problem as Dave P. you have to read the blue text at the top of the results. It’s just defaulting you to “Jayson Werth” both times.

Brendan Burke
Guest

Bill Mueller – 173,000
Bill Miller – 380,000

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