Great Moments in Baldness: Wash

Rangers manager/America’s favorite cackling bedlamite Ron Washington is, as you are probably aware, bald. But he is not bald in the sense of merely being in possession of a hairless top floor, like, say, Lex Luthor. Rather, Wash’s baldness contains multitudes. This you shall soon see …

So multitudinous is his baldness that we now have a category called “Great Moments in Baldness.” If not for Ron Washington, there would be no such thing as a Great Moment in Baldness. The inverse formulation — if not for Great Moments in Baldness, there would be no Ron Washington — is obviously not true. But still.

This has been your Daguerreotype of the Evening.




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Person
Guest
Person
4 years 8 months ago

I honestly read this as “Great Moments in Badass” originally.

mattc
Guest
mattc
4 years 8 months ago

That hair configuration is the sign and signal of an ancient order of monks: the Brothers of Perpetual Bunting.

Naked Mole Gaetti
Member
4 years 8 months ago

America’s favorite cackling bedlamite

This turn of phrase will not stop spinning.

Yirmiyahu
Member
Yirmiyahu
4 years 8 months ago

The baldness wouldn’t be so bad if he didn’t have so much hair. Like, it’s a mini-afro with a big hole in the middle.

bluejaysstatsgeek
Guest
bluejaysstatsgeek
4 years 8 months ago

It’s called Ron Pattern Baldness

StringerBias
Member
4 years 8 months ago

With all due respect to (Ron) Washington’s wonderfully glabrous cupola, I’m fairly certain Larry David previously acquired the syndication & trademark rights to “Great Moments in Baldness” with his skillful articulation of the bald man’s dilemma/pathos, “This is all well and good but I’m still bald.”

Danmay
Guest
Danmay
4 years 8 months ago

I would definitely suggest to the author that they be careful with their tone lest they want to commit a hate crime.

Dizzy Valance
Guest
Dizzy Valance
4 years 8 months ago

BALD ASSHOLE

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