Greatest Full Name in Baseball History?

You were no doubt roused from fat sleep this morning by an urgent thought: “Who, prithee, has the greatest full name in baseball history?”

Because I am a man who knows things but not people, I have an answer — quite possibly the correct one:

The first thing you’ll notice is that Mr. Partenheimer’s head shot is actually an Instagram of Craig Biggio, which is fine. The second thing you’ll notice is his full name: Stanwood Wendell Partenheimer. Rogue scientist? Deep-cover assassin? Outrigger canoeist with a sex addiction? Yes. He is these and all things.

And he is nicknamed “Party” not because of phonetic similarities to his surname; rather, it’s because Stanwood Wendell Partenheimer uses the word “party” as a verb, as do all base-jumping surgeons.




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

20 Responses to “Greatest Full Name in Baseball History?”

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  1. Robert J. Baumann says:

    Dayn, I would like to publish a chapbook of selected NotGraphs posts of yours.

    Free Hubba Hubba: Some of Dayn Perry’s Greatest NotGraphs Posts

    What do you say?

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  2. Mr. Smooth says:

    Let’s not forget about Malcolm Clapsaddle.

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  3. Menthol says:

    Ledell “Cannonball” Titcomb gives Mr. Partenheimer a run for his money, methinks.

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  4. Oddball says:

    Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McLish

    Case closed.

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  5. Theron says:

    Razor Shines

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  6. henry says:

    don’t forget both dick cox

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  7. nu?! bully baroooooo says:

    BTW – Rusty Kuntz is the Royals of Kansas City’s new 1B coach!

    Mike Greenwell. True baseball nomenclature

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  8. jcxy says:

    whose name is the best aptronym though?

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  9. Double J says:

    I always was a fan of Juan Tyrone Eichelberger
    http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/e/eicheju01.shtml
    While not reflected on his BR page, I distincly remember the back of a minor league baseball card of his having his full name as
    Juan Tyrone Eichelberger III.

    I guess if there are two others of him, the name isn’t unique, but at the same time the “III” is a WASPish suffix to a name that laready sounds pretty multi-ethnic.

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  10. Ian says:

    I get the impression none of you have heard of the great Cletus Elwood “Boots” Poffenberger.

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  11. MikeP says:

    I was always particularly intimidated by the name Dick Pole.

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  12. david manel says:

    During my college years Lil Stoner was my Tiger.

    http://www.baseball-reference.com/players/s/stoneli01.shtml

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