Haiku About Ruben Tejada and Service Time Manipulations

(You may first want to read this article.).

Ruben Tejada
One day short of a season
Yes, a bad season

Ruben Tejada
Fell one home run short of one
He shouldn’t complain

Ruben Tejada
Should hope he is still playing
In 2016

Or 2014
His season was terrible
How can he fight this?

Ruben Tejada
At least they called you back up!
You cost them a win

Or a third of one
Depending on which site’s WAR
Can’t we all agree?

Ruben Tejada
If you file a grievance
I think you may win

But really you’ll lose
Because no one will sign you
Not that they ought to

Ruben Tejada
Why did your walk rate collapse?
This is the last poem

Wait — How you say poem?
It’s one syllable, or two?
Whatever, I’m done.




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


One Response to “Haiku About Ruben Tejada and Service Time Manipulations”

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  1. BurleighGrimes says:

    The winner is:

    Ruben Tejada
    Fell one home run short of one
    He shouldn’t complain

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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