Hot Rookies ’89-’90, A-G

Favored first prodigies, creation’s darlings,
mountain ranges, peaks, dawn-red ridges
of all genesis, — pollen of a flowering godhead,
links of light, corridors, stairs, thrones,
spaces of being, shields of rapture, torrents
of unchecked feeling and then suddenly, singly
mirrors: scooping their outstreamed beauty
back into their peerless faces.

-Rainer Maria Rilke, from the Second Elegy
(translated by Edward Snow)

List from Score’s Baseball’s Hottest Rookies 1989-1990 Book & Card Set.
Words via Google search (“__________ is”).
Selected images chosen from the name’s GIS results.

Jim Abbott
Jim Abbott is NOT a newt.

Kent Anderson
Kent Anderson Is A Powerful Narrative Of Uncomfortable Circumstances.

Eric Anthony
Eric Anthony is no longer eating dairy.

Kevin Appier
kevin appier is from krypton.

Brad Arnsberg
Brad Arnsberg is probably thinking about the meaning of life right now.

Billy Bates
Billy Bates is out of control and crashes into city hall.

“Joey” [Albert] Belle
Joey Belle is a pretty amazing guy when you think about it.

Andy Benes
Andy Benes is and was a fucking pimp.

Geronimo Berroa
Geronimo Berroa is surprised.

Lance Blankenship
Lance Blankenship is on Facebook.

Jeff Brantley
Jeff Brantley is a five tool idiot!

Greg Briley
Greg Briley is the reason i’m wearing this rubber jacket.

Kevin Brown
Kevin Brown is the president of Lettuce Entertain You Enterprises®.

Mike Brumley
Mike Brumley is hitting .213.

Cris Carpenter
Cris Carpenter is one of baseball’s best pitchers.

Mark Carreon
Mark Carreon is the fourth New York Mets player in the last three years to be admitted to the Smithers Center for Alcohol and Drug Treatment.

Dennis Cook
Dennis Cook is close to my heart with the number of lessons he’s livened up.

Scott Coolbaugh
Scott Coolbaugh is another good one.

Milt Cuyler
Milt Cuyler is not strictly equal to Thom Yorke.

Jack Daugherty
Jack Daugherty is mistaken for the man who stole gold from a mine but is actually the mine owner.

Jose DeJesus
Jose DeJesus is a 40 year old competitive bodybuilder from Orlando.

Luis de los Santos
Luis De Los Santos is so shy that he can’t even sell some cookies for a fundraiser.

Mike Devereaux
Mike Devereaux is stroking a homer.

Junior Felix
Junior Felix is headed your way.

Steve Finley
Steve Finley is most incredible looking senior citizen on the planet.

Mark Gardner
Mark Gardner is inspired by african and oceanic art.

Bob Geren
Bob Geren is not a fan of ‘afros’.

Joe Girardi
Joe Girardi is tired of the posturing.

German Gonzalez
German Gonzalez is using Google+.

Tom Gordon
Tom Gordon is a good title because sports fans automatically think it will be about sports.

“Goose” [Mauro] Gozzo
Mauro Gozzo is more likely to be depressed during these times.

Ken Griffey Jr.
Ken Griffey Jr. is my least favorite athlete of all time.

Marquis Grissom
Marquis Grissom is a gamer.




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Summer Anne Burton is a writer and illustrator living in Austin, Texas. She is drawing pictures of Every Hall of Famer.


10 Responses to “Hot Rookies ’89-’90, A-G”

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  1. Kyle says:

    Oh, The Kid, such blaspheme!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. olethros says:

    Cris Carpenter’s cap is apparently hiding the fact that he’s a conehead.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. nubillybaroo says:

    next time we need baseball card images.

    I did heckle Jr. from behind the cyclone fencing at ol Tiger stadium in 96 (perhaps because I felt like King Kong Bundy in a steelcagematch). but don’t ever say that about Junior again.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. nubillybaroo says:

    Greg Briley’s passion is to capture the magnificent beauty, splendor and artistry of this world through the medium of photography. He likens every picture he takes as a present waiting to be opened.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. The saddest thing is that I can name all the characters in that pic from Days of Our Lives.

    It might have already been sad enough that I could identify where that pic is from.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    “Kent Anderson Is A Powerful Narrative Of Uncomfortable Circumstances.”

    This REALLY sounds like a long-lost David Foster Wallace essay.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Well-Beered Englishman says:

      Side thought: we should have a “Write an Imaginary David Foster Wallace Sentence about Baseball” competition.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. kick me in the GO NATS says:

    I read this entire thing and was rewarded with the Asian Girls pic. Thank you!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • reillocity says:

      Sure, but I’m thinking that the prominent curvy W seen in her delivery places her at increased risk for future Tomo Ohka surgery.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

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