How Many Astros Can You Name?

No cheating here.

I’ll start you off with the easy ones.

Starting Pitchers:
Wandy Rodriguez
Bud Norris
J.A. Happ

Brett Myers

Starting Lineup:
Carlos Lee (1B)

That leaves, uh, 20 more players. Let’s do it this way. Remember, no cheating. Leave one name in the comments, a name no one above you has mentioned. And we’ll see how long it takes to get to all 25. And who’s the last one named. (My guess as to the last one named is the guy in the photo.)

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

85 Responses to “How Many Astros Can You Name?”

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  1. dbake005 says:

    J.D. Martinez

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Resolution says:

    That short middle-infield prospect who people are high on. Brett Wallace somewhere in the organization. The ghost of Morgan Ensberg.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. Kyle says:

    Jed Lowrie, right? Jordan Schafer?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Will says:

    Jose Altuve

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. Bryan says:

    Jose Altuve

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Brian Bogusevic, The dog from Jetsons, _____glide, The lab assistant on Fringe…

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  7. dbake005 says:

    Jordan Lyles

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  8. @CPMeyer says:

    Jose Altuve

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  9. dbake005 says:

    Chris Johnson.

    That’s all I’ve got

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  10. tyler says:

    a phillies prospect to be named later

    +10 Vote -1 Vote +1

  11. VRP says:

    Jordan Lyles
    The OF Brian something, starts with a B
    Wilton Lopez

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  12. BobbyMac says:

    Fern-Rod – my sleeper RP pick for 2012.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  13. Bryan Grosnick says:

    Wilton Lopez!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  14. There’s a Rule 5 guy named Wilkin — or something like Wilkin.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  15. orfo says:

    @VRP it’s Brian Bogusevic.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  16. beachykeen says:

    Jordan Schafer

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  17. bcarsley22 says:

    David Carpenter and Angel Sanchez!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  18. beachykeen says:

    Aneury Rodriguez

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  19. leoleo says:

    Matt Downs

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  20. Andrew Chesnut says:

    Brandon Lyons

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  21. David says:

    Kyle “Stone Temple Pilots sucks” Wieland

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  22. Eminor3rd says:

    Livan Hernand– Oh, wait.

    Brett Wallace!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  23. Dave says:

    Kyle Weiland

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  24. Dave says:

    Brian Bogusevic

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  25. dan says:

    Jason Michaels?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  26. Joshn18 says:

    Jed Lowrie

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  27. Eminor3rd says:

    Humberto Quintero? Is he still there?

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  28. novaether says:


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  29. Matt Defalco says:

    Matt Downs, Jason Bourgeois on the list as well!

    Also Chris Johnson to be added (if not said above already). I can think of some more if I spend a few minutes on it. We need to use that website where you can make fill in the blank challenges and reward the member who can complete it the most.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  30. Steve says:

    Fernando Martinez

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  31. halebm says:

    Altuve 2B

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  32. Resolution says:

    I think a strong testament to the difficulty of this task is the fact that everyone keeps commenting with like the same 5 names or just providing answers in the form of questions.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  33. Jeremy Blachman says:

    And no one has yet named the guy in the photo!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  34. njd.aitken says:

    JB Shuck. But to be fair, Jeff Sullivan had a similar exercise on twitter two weeks ago.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  35. Andrew says:

    Marwin Gonzalez. You know I cheated for that one.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  36. Guy says:

    Seems we forgot Hunter Pence and Lance Berkman.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  37. shankster91 says:

    Is it Rule 5 Draft first pick Rhiner Cruz?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  38. Brad says:

    Starting roster? Yeesh… um…
    Brett Walla-… Oh, he’s in the minors?
    Zach Du-… wait, nope, traded.
    I believe there’s something called a J.B. “Aww” Schucks. I assume the J.B. stands for Jim Beam.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  39. CurtisStarkeyFan4Life says:

    Albert Pujols?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  40. Ashitaka says:

    Ones not mentioned off the top: Wesley Wright, Enerio Del Rosario, Lucas Harrell…and one or two more I’m forgetting I’m sure.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  41. bill says:

    carlos… mar…ti.. nez?

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  42. CurtisStarkeyFan4Life says:

    Is CC Sabathia still in Houston?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  43. Kyle says:

    Rodger Clemens will be by June

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  44. Well-Beered Englishman says:

    Oh! Justin Ruggiano!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Well-Beered Englishman says:

      My fiancee and I sat behind first at an Astros spring training game, and she ranked the attractiveness of the players’ hindquarters. Her rankings were thusly: 1. Jordan Schafer 2. Justin Ruggiano 3. J.D. Martinez n. (where n=highest possible number) Carlos Lee

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  45. Simon says:

    Clint Barmes?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  46. Matt Defalco says:

    The writer needs to compile our contributions until we either get them all (not bloody likely) or surrender.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  47. Jeremy Blachman says:

    The rest of the rotation (Weiland and Harrell) has been named.

    Four members of the bullpen (David Carpenter, Brandon Lyon, Wilton Lopez, Rhiner Cruz) have been named.

    The remainder of the starting lineup (Schaefer, Lowrie or Sanchez, JD Martinez, Chris Johnson, Bogusevic, Altuve, and Castro) has been covered.

    Four members of the bench (Marwin Gonzalez, Matt Downs, Justin Ruggiano, Chris Snyder) have been named.

    According to my source (don’t click the link unless you want to be spoiled), that still leaves 2 bullpen guys and a bench player.


    1. One of the bullpen guys has the same last name as someone else mentioned in this comment thread.

    2. The other bullpen guy is first on the team in alphabetical order.

    3. The bench guy used to be on the A’s.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  48. Smada says:

    Did henry sosa make the team?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  49. The other bench guy is Travis Buck.

    I am crying.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  50. chiefglockandhummer says:

    did oberholtzer make the team?

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  51. jwp says:

    F. Abad as the bullpen guy?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  52. Mean Dean says:

    BobbyMac said him at 12:36 pm!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Jeremy Blachman says:

      Indeed. I was searching with ctrl-f, so I missed nicknames. Thus, this exercise is complete, and Fernando Abad wins the award for least remembered Astro. Or least known Astro, I suppose. Least Astro. Congratulations.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  53. illinibob says:

    I live in Houston and I’m an Astros fan (yes, cry for me Argentina), and all I can come up with for the last bullpen spot is either a rodriguez, a fernandez, or something like that. There have been a lot of Latin pitchers passing through here lately.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  54. illinibob says:

    Can I look ahead and say Mark Appel?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  55. CurtisStarkeyFan4LIFE!!!!!!! says:

    Man, I can’t believe they cut Justin Upton.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  56. max says:

    Roy Oswalt?

    He will also be their ASG rep.


    Vote -1 Vote +1

  57. supershredder says:

    (5 SP) Wandy, Lucas Harrell, Kyle Weiland, J.A. Happ, Bud Norris

    (2 C) Jason Castro & Chris Snyder
    (4 IF) Carlos Lee, Jose Altuve, Jed Lowrie, Chris Johnson
    (2 b/up IF) Matt Downs & Marwin Gonzalez

    (3 OF) J.D. Martinez, Jordan Schafer, Brian Bougesevic (hasn’t been announced yet)
    (2 b/u OF) J.B. Shuck, Travis Buck, or Justin Ruggiano

    Brett Myers, Wilton Lopez, Brandon Lyon, Rhiner Cruz & either David Carpenter, Wesley Wright or Fernando Abad.

    How many is that?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  58. Tyler N says:

    I’m gonna say Chris Johnson was their All-Star rep last year

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  59. bstar says:

    Terry Puhl. Craig Baggio.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  60. Spencer Morris says:

    The last one (swear I didn’t cheat) is Brian Bixler.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  61. Frank says:

    Rhiner Cruz. Fernando abad Scott Moore Matt downs

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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