Yasiel Puig: Defecting from the United States back to Cuba, where at least he might make an All-Star Team.
Shin-Soo Choo: Fulfilling his South Korean military service.
Jacoby Ellsbury: Getting injured.
Josh Donaldson: Trying to poison Jim Leyland by figuring out a way to get him addicted to little white sticks filled with dangerous substances that will kill him.
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