I Dreamed That Jason Kipnis Was Traded To The Mets

Last night, I had an interesting dream. In the dream, I found a pile of reimbursement checks that had been written to me, from the Mets, compensating me for attending seven of their games. The checks were for $20 each, which seemed like an appropriate amount that the Mets should have to pay someone to watch them play. But, sadly, the checks had expired, and I needed to call the Mets’ offices and ask if they could reissue them. (There was a picture of Terry Leach on the checks. I don’t know why. I’m pretty sure Terry Leach hadn’t crossed my mind since 1987.) As I was waiting on hold, I turned toward the TV and saw a headline scrolling at the top of the screen: “Jason Kipnis traded to the Mets for four players.” And then I woke up.

I immediately started to wonder — who were the four players?

And do the Mets even need Jason Kipnis? At the beginning of the season, I would have said absolutely. But Daniel Murphy is having a pretty nice season, at least if you look at the rate stats (why doesn’t he hit any home runs?) and Kipnis had a pretty nice month of May and is only two years younger than Murphy.

I think the right answer is that a team would rather have Kipnis — #25 in the majors in trade value according to a certain website — but Murphy is perhaps better than he gets credit for being. Certainly, the Mets could probably find a four-person package that could convince the pitching-poor Indians to trade Kipnis (Zach Wheeler…), but why would they? The Mets need an outfield — and a bullpen, I suppose — not an infield.

So, alas, my dream will not come true. And I wasn’t even checking my fantasy teams before I went to sleep, so I really don’t know what was going on in my subconscious.




Print This Post

Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
RamboDiaz
Guest
RamboDiaz
4 years 3 days ago

Subconscious Terry Leach strikes again.

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
4 years 3 days ago

I once dreamed John Lannan was a Yankee.

Jack
Guest
Jack
4 years 3 days ago

I once dreamed that Jim Tracy was fired and his replacement was Richard Nixon. The Rockies then went on to win the World Series. I’m not even a Rockies fan and it was awesome.

samuelraphael
Member
4 years 3 days ago

I once dreamed of Sergio Mitre.

I will go into no further detail.

Dave
Guest
Dave
4 years 3 days ago

What Web site show the trade values?

Dave
Guest
Dave
4 years 3 days ago

Click the link to find out.

Hal
Guest
Hal
4 years 3 days ago

I’m sorry, Dave. I can’t let you do that.

wpDiscuz