I Hate Announcers

Which is why I did this. Inspired by things the TBS team has actually said. More playoff announcer nonsense invited in the comments.




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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


39 Responses to “I Hate Announcers”

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  1. Resolution says:

    The chick with the mustache is hot.

    Also, on a scale of 20-80 (with higher values suggesting more bad), how bad is Ron Darling?

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    • Probably a solid 75. This is awesome, BTW.

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    • Simon says:

      I agree that Ron is awful on TBS. What’s weird and sad is that Ron is really good on SNY.

      Maybe there’s something about national broadcasts that makes him less comfortable. Less familiarity with the teams, maybe? Hopefully he gets constructive feedback and gets better on TBS.

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    • tylerv says:

      Haven’t heard him on TBS this year. He’s solid on SNY. Nobody is more focused on the game within the game than Hernandez imo. Darling and Hernandez usually offer pretty good players insight on SNY.

      35

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  2. Ryan says:

    Yes, but who’s going to get the most situations in order to thrive in situation hitting?

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  3. test says:

    I shouldn’t have been surprised, but when Fox decided to go with Terry Francona, who is not an announcer, to go with Buck, I was disgusted. I watch Buck games on mute most of the time anyway, since he’s a solid 80 on the “how bad is he” scale for me. Throw in a colour guy who has nothing useful to add, isn’t great to listen to, and last week was busy managing a rival team (into the ground), and I just don’t get it.

    Professional announcers probably feel like professional voice actors, who get replaced whenever a movie gets big enough by celebrities. It’s insulting to the profession that people get picked based on fame to call a baseball game. I’m not even sure what Buck is good at, but it’s not baseball (and it’s not football either to my tastes).

    TBS announcers beat Fox announcers for me. They passed the “didn’t mute them” test. I always hope I’ll get the “international” feed, which happens sometimes in Canada. They are at least average announcers most of the time.

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    • Bill@TPA says:

      Man, I just couldn’t disagree more. Of the many different people who have called games this postseason, Francona has come the closest to being not-terrible.

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      • test says:

        I barely even gave him a chance, so maybe I will now (does the broadcast have a “mute Buck only” button?). It just annoyed me to think that of every baseball announcer that Fox has access to (which must be 15-120 regional network teams and non specialized baseball guys), they went with a guy who isn’t an announcer. That’s a pretty stunning condemnation of the entire profession, and regular announcers must get pretty pissed.

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        • Stringer Bell says:

          Huh? Tito is great, waaaaaaaaaay better than McCarver who is the worst commentator alive.

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          • test says:

            Yeah, but is Tito better than every professional baseball broadcaster on any Fox affiliated station? That’s what annoys me. It’s not replacing McCarver, it’s that surely there is a good annoucer or three out there who will never get a chance. Hell, maybe Francona is the best of the bunch, but that’s a bad sign for the profession.

            It’s the postseason, I wold hope the best get a chance to shine, even in the booth. But instead we get the most famous or annoying ones (many are only famous for being annoying, like Buck and McCarver).

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  4. MikeS says:

    Man, they stole my number one “key to the game:” Score more runs than the other team.

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  5. Mike says:

    Francona was the one bright spot this month, and maybe just because replacement level is so low, I’d give him a positive CAR (commentation above replacement).

    McCarver achieved automute status a long time ago.

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    • Yirmiyahu says:

      “Commentation”? Not “commentary” or “comments” which are already words?

      I don’t think the concept of replacement level works very well here. Because a random baseball fan pulled off the street would probably be an above league average color commentator.

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    • drtrix says:

      I refuse to mute. The playoffs are that much more memorable because of the cringe inducing commentary from everyone at this time of year.

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  6. Hanzel says:

    Most here haven’t even had to endure Rick Sutcliffe on the MLB feed that we get in Canada. He’s so incredibly awful.

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    • Big Jgke says:

      Sutcliffe has been bad, but he’s a barely a pimple compared to the full-fledged awfulness of Buck Martinez.

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      • Nathan says:

        You guys talking about the NLCS feed in Canada? It’s a mothereffen atrocity. Whoever the colour guy is (Sutcliffe, I imagine) just berates players left and right and never has anything thoughtful to say. He talks like he is thoroughly irritated by the sport of baseball.

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    • tylerv says:

      Rick Sutcliffe is mr moral authority. While Buck absolutely flattens any drama and ruins excitement, Sutcliffe just ruins sound. I absolutely can not listen to that ass.

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  7. Kyle says:

    I’m one of those people who’s only truly happy when experiencing life-affirming anger. So I’ve accepted terrible sports announcing as a necessary lifeblood.

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  8. SiddFinch says:

    I just want Eckersley in there to see if he drops a “shit” or “fuck” bomb like he does on NESN.

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  9. tylerv says:

    i love this. but i also love ron darling, keith hernandez and gary cohen.

    i dont have surround sound, but i might consider getting it if the announcers are coming through the center channel like it does in some football broadcasts. that way, unplug center channel, and you have crowd without announcers.

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  10. Happy says:

    Lol … I thought with the blue jays out of the playoffs I wouldn’t have to listen to buck n tabby … “this is the conjunture (sic) in time when (it crucial) the pitchers pitch n the jitters hit” … N I really thought this was the time of year when “the ghosts/ aura/ mystique of the Yankees (stadium) really comes into play”? …

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  11. slash12 says:

    lol

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  12. LeeTro says:

    As McCarver once said (on Family Guy): “In my view, as good as the Yankees were in the first half of this game, that’s how as bad they’ve been now.”

    In defense of Darling, he did have the line of the playoffs. With Yuni B up and Garcia struggling in the 1st inning of Game 1, Darling said: “Sometimes the pitcher makes an adjustment, and sometimes the right batter comes up.” I hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time.

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  13. What a debut. Just brilliant.

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  14. Dude says:

    You fags hate everything. Ron Darling owns on SNY

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  15. Bill says:

    It could be worse, you could be hearing Mike Fatcessa during these games. I wonder if Ozzie will do the world series again this year.

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  16. fan says:

    Ron Darling was one of the worst announcers EVER during the NLCS. He should have worn a Brewers jersey just in case anyone missed the 4000 times he kissed their butts! I thought announcers were suppose to be unbias during playoffs??? Ever play the Brewers made was spectacular or “monumental”. What a load of crap!! If I didnt have satellite that was alittle behind the radio broadcast, I would have muted the announcers and listened to Mike Shannon!!

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