Ironic Jersey Omnibus: Cincinnati Reds
Our voyage through multiple layers of meaning continues this week with the storied Cincinnati Redleg franchise. The last sixty iterations of the Reds are somewhat lackluster from a comedy standpoint: never terrible, sometimes excellent, generally consistent. Sure, they have Dusty Baker as a manager, but he has Bronson Arroyo’s elbow to bend back and forth like a Stretch Armstrong doll, so there’s no harm done. The Big Red Machine seemed to destroy the league slowly, inexorably, and humorlessly. There isn’t even a joke in Bill Bray.
There’s an unfortunate drawback for dealing with the older ballclubs: names didn’t appear on the backs of jerseys until 1960, when Bill Veeck was busy ruining the game. The Reds didn’t get on board until 1964. This eliminates some golden opportunities for historically-minded jokesters: there’s no showing off one’s literary chops by throwing on some Coke-bottle glasses and some Jim Brosnan gear, nor can one effectively rock the Dummy Hoy. It’s particularly tragic that there’s no Christy Mathewson jersey, because the combination of unwise trade, twilight appearance, and wonderful old-fashioned bagginess would make it pretty much unstoppable. Alas.
Still, a poor craftsman blames the tools of his ancestors. And so, undaunted, we proceed:
1966 Milt Pappas: The list could never start anywhere else. Pappas was the key piece of the worst trade in Cincinnati history (or second – see Mathewson, above) when an over-the-hill 30 year-old Frank Robinson was sent to the Baltimore Orioles in the offseason. Robinson went on to win the Triple Crown in 1966, and Milt Pappas went on to be Milt Pappas: winning a dozen or so games a year, posting a FIP in the low to mid threes, and complaining about everything from umpires to lower back pain to anyone within earshot. Necessary for wearing this jersey: limb flailing.















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