Peter Gammons Pocket Poetry

by Bradley Woodrum - February 18, 2012

Some days, we make Peter Gammons tweets looks pretty funny; some days, Peter Gammons makes the funny for us. And then he reaches into our souls with shaky thumbs, and brushes off the cobwebs to flip the rusty lever to make us think and to ponder and to trouble over our own and very and uniquely terrifying existence.

Today is the second day — the day where that thinking crap happens. After the laughing bit:

I’m on an elliptical right now, but have been slowed by glute pull that won’t go away and hurts my back. You’re in Jupiter

— Peter Gammons (@pgammo) February 18, 2012

, not Orlando?

— Peter Gammons (@pgammo) February 18, 2012

If this accidental poetry does not tug on your heartstrings, festoon your soul with sparkling, golden laughter and secret, shimmering and crimson red regrets — secret pains about secret problems you feel shameful to tell your deepest most dear friends and loved ones — if these two tweet poems do not do all this, then check your heart, man. Or woman. Because the cybermen may have replaced the beating muscle of your existence with a tuft of wiring and cold steel. Just like in that distressing dream I just awoke from.

Also, Glute is a butt muscle… BUTT JOKE! (Discuss.)

A gentleman’s bow, courtly and obliquely disdainful, towards the shareful Yirmiyahu.

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Bradley Woodrum (Twitter) writes about the Rays at DRaysBay, about the Cubs at Cubs Stats, about cats and economics at Homebody and Woman, and about all Tampa Bay sports at SBN Tampa Bay.

7 Responses to “Peter Gammons Pocket Poetry”

1. Greg W says:

   February 18, 2012 at 7:33 pm

   I’m sure he’s just trying to text, but every so often, I wonder if PGammo really feels the whole world need to share his pain. And all of us should do it while on Jupiter, or possibly one of its many moons.
   

   

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   • Bradley Woodrum says:

     February 18, 2012 at 8:44 pm

     , not Orlando?
     

     

     Reply
2. Yirmiyahu says:

   February 18, 2012 at 8:56 pm

   Mr. Gammons is sending these tweets from the future, where we have a human colony on Jupiter.
   

   

   Reply
   • RobELP says:

     February 20, 2012 at 6:09 pm

     That must mean that this comment originated at some point in Gingrich’s second term.
     

     

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     • shane says:

       February 21, 2012 at 1:07 pm

       If I’m still listening to Gammons on MLB network in six years I’m gonna shoot him in the head to end his misery.
       

       

       Reply
3. Nu? Billy Baroo says:

   February 18, 2012 at 11:32 pm

   of course he is from the future, how do you think he so accurately predicts the Hot Stove talk
   

   

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4. shane says:

   February 21, 2012 at 1:10 pm

   Butt Joke. I wonder what the consistency of things coming out of Gammons ancient butt is. It’s likely runny considering the verbal diahrea that runs out of his mouth.
   

   

   Reply