Inserting Dick Allen’s Name Into Works of Literature

In which the Royal We insert Dick Allen’s name into various works representative of the Western Canon, thus adding to those various works the patina of blessedness.

In today’s episode, Mr. Dick Allen wanders into one of Christendom’s sacred texts — the Old Testament, which, much like Dr. Pepper Ten, is not for women.

A reading from 2 Kings 2:23-24, New International Version

Elisha Is Jeered

23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then Dick Allen came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.

This has been the latest episode of Inserting Dick Allen’s Name Into Works of Literature.




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


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The Return of RamboDiaz
Guest
The Return of RamboDiaz
3 years 8 months ago

And now, let us rise and sing hymn #31, The Doxology.

Marcat
Guest
Marcat
3 years 8 months ago

Such an appropriate response from God.

Marcat
Guest
Marcat
3 years 8 months ago

*Yahweh

Jack Chick
Guest
Jack Chick
3 years 8 months ago

“New International Version”? You, Dayn, of all people, should know that any text other than the King James Bible reeks with the sulfurous stench of Marxism, Lucifer, and Popish Heresy. Repent and be saved, sinner, or face eternal ejection at the hands of Joe West!!!

Proteus
Guest
Proteus
3 years 8 months ago

One morning, as Dick Allen was waking up from anxious dreams, he discovered that in his bed he had been changed into a monstrous verminous bug. He lay on his armour-hard back and saw, as he lifted his head up a little, his brown, arched abdomen divided up into rigid bow-like sections. From this height the blanket, just about ready to slide off completely, could hardly stay in place. His numerous legs, pitifully thin in comparison to the rest of his circumference, flickered helplessly before his eyes.

deadhead
Member
deadhead
3 years 8 months ago

This much religion makes me want to steal a plane, smuggle in some blow, cook the shit out of it, and smoke rocks with some upstanding gents in my alley.

Nevin
Guest
Nevin
3 years 8 months ago

when you say “outstanding”, you mean they’re just standing around outside in the alley, waiting for someone to offer them some little taste of oblivion?

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