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Inserting Dick Allen’s Name Into Works of Literature

In which the Royal We insert Dick Allen’s name into various works representative of the Western Canon, thus adding to those various works the patina of blessedness.

In today’s episode, Mr. Dick Allen wanders into one of Christendom’s sacred texts — the Old Testament, which, much like Dr. Pepper Ten, is not for women.

A reading from 2 Kings 2:23-24, New International Version

Elisha Is Jeered

23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then Dick Allen came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.

This has been the latest episode of Inserting Dick Allen’s Name Into Works of Literature.