Inserting Jayson Werth into Classic Music Videos

werth_hagar

The Washington Nationals received a substantial setback today, as it was revealed that star hominid Jayson Werth has been diagnosed with the rare disorder quinquagintaquinquitis. The condition is popularly known as “Sammy Hagar’s disease” after the singer who immortalized it in 1984.

According to NotGraphs medical experts who have examined the above photograph, obtained from the Virginia Highway Patrol, Werth is likely in the “advanced stages” of the disease. The experts say that the outfielder may require the multi-stage treatment known as ATJ (for “All That Jive”), which could sideline him indefinitely.

(h/t to determined reader Nathan Hoff)



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Damaso's Burnt Shirt
Guest
Damaso's Burnt Shirt

I feel the need… the need for speed!

Highway to the Danger Zone.
Take you right into the danger Zone.

Sterling
Guest
Sterling

lana, lana, LANA!!!!

tz
Guest
tz

Sammy Hagar Remix ft. J-Werth:

One foot on the brake and one on the gas, hey
Well, there’s too much traffic, I can’t pass, no
So I tried my best illegal move
A big black and white come and crushed my groove again

Go on and write me up for 105
Post my face, wanted dead or alive
Take my license, all that jive
I can’t drive 55….

So skip starts ridin’ number 34, hey
He said “No clown comments, not one more
I’m gonna throw your ass down to AAA”
Looked him in the eye, said, “You get my point?”
He said “Yeah!, (whatever!)

Go on and sign me up for $one twenty-six
Mock my face, say I look like a hick
Ruben Amaro, I make him sick
I can’t drive with a stick…..

jcxy
Guest
jcxy

Why was he dressed like he was going to the Sgt Peppers cover shoot?

Nathan
Guest
Nathan

I think it’s closer to the style of MJ’s “Thriller” (same era) than a marching band uniform. Classic 1980’s. He’s wearing something similar on his VOA album cover. Not a huge fan, but definitely one of the great 1980’s videos.

AC of DC
Guest
AC of DC

You know, Fairfax County has a number of tricky spots where a state highway will suddenly become a local road, with the attendant speed zone change, with very little warning. He was probably just coasting in a 105 MPH zone and didn’t notice the sign. Happens to the best of us.

(I avoid Fairfax, as a rule, and I recommend the same to you.)

Aroldis Chapman
Guest
Aroldis Chapman

I love to coast in the 105 MPH zone.

Yirmiyahu
Member

Try the autobahn (the German roadway, not Kraftwerk album)

Helix Fernandez
Guest
Helix Fernandez

Can you put Carlos Peguero’s wife into a Jane’s Addiction video?

Nathan
Guest
Nathan

That…was…AWESOME.

Nathan
Guest
Nathan

Got Pat Benatar’s “Fire & Ice” in my head for days now and I can’t get it out. Pls help! No Bobby McFerrin, please. Crap, too late…

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