Introducing the Dayn Perry Message Notification

In almost every case, cell phone alerts are at best an annoyance and at worst punch-provoking. We civil folk have pretty much come to terms with the fact that a cell phone should stay on vibrate.

But there are rare instances in which an audible alert is necessary — text messages from Ronald Reagan’s ghost, emails concerning which minority you’ve recently offended, weather notifications keeping you abreast when a tornado is about to upend the home of a former employer, and Google alerts for “Cheryl Tiegs Hacksaw Jim Duggan Sex Tape” are some examples.

In situations such as these, I suggest an audible message notification. Sure, you could use a standard boo doop or ding ding like a common dirt-person. But why buy the cow when you can mix your metaphors for free?

In the spirit of FanGraphs: The Ringtone, it is my pleasure to introduce The Dayn Perry Message Notification. I can’t say for sure when you should use it, but if you really need my help finding the proper situation, you probably shouldn’t use it at all.

Download at will.



Print This Post

David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.


Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
Mike
Guest
Mike

I was hoping for his tone-perfect donkey bray but this is an excellent quote for which I will find many uses.

wpDiscuz