Today, thorough investigation of the Baseball-Reference website revealed a very shocking fact: namely, Jonny Gomes’s middle name.
Hold on, we need to zoom in here.
Just a little more…
Nope, you’re losing me.
Hey, there it is!
That’s right. Jonny Gomes’s middle name is “Johnson.” It’s hard to sum that up better than my friend Dan, who after hearing this news, declared “What a douche” of Gomes. And really, out of this guy, maybe we shouldn’t be too surprised: