It’s About the Makeup


PHOENIX, Ariz. — R.A. Dickey, who started Team USA’s opener in the 2013 World Baseball Classic, set a few things straight when asked about the team and its chances. “It’s not about the names. It’s about the makeup,” said Dickey, emphasizing that any gap in the Americans’ star power will be amply filled by mascara and rouge. Asked about his teammate’s comments, David Wright added: “Listen, don’t get me wrong, we’re all going to leave it all out there and hopefully come home with a trophy. But let’s be real — the main reason I’m here is to look completely fabulous in front of an international audience.”

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11 Responses to “It’s About the Makeup”

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  1. Don Zimmer's jowl sweat says:

    It`s about being a gamer. Having grit. “Playing the game the right way”. Selecting the right eye shadow. And so on.

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  2. Cody says:

    This is terrifying.

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  3. Wimpy's Ghost says:

    I’m not saying that Alex Rodriguez does have his own line of mascara, but I’m also not saying Alex Rodriguez doesn’t have his own line of mascara.

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  4. Del B. Vista says:

    Is that advance promotional material from the David Wright biopic starring Liza Minnelli?

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    • FamousAmazingGuy says:

      I had a chance to work with Liza a few years back. Super cool lady, she could absolutely pull that roll off!

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  5. The Return of Rambo Diaz says:

    I feel like I should comment, but I just don’t know what more one could possibly add to this, so I’m just gonna go press the “Post Comment” button now…

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  6. Mr. Observant says:

    Ummm, didn’t YHWH destroy the wicked persons of Sodom and Gomorrah for looking exactly like David Wright in the above ‘photo’? I feel like I should offer a yearling bull, unblemished, as a sin offering just for looking at this glimpse of horror. Also, Braunie might want to consider more earth-tones and subtle reds in the future…

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  7. David Wright = Lucille Ball.

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  8. FamousAmazingGuy says:

    Between this and the artistic stylings of Joe West, Mississippi Matt Smith has gone into a new stratosphere in so far as blog posts.

    I really do think that this is a fine example of what Stanley Kubrick was trying to say in 2001: A Space Odyssey. A new Star Child has certainly been born.

    Bravo Matt!

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