It’s Been a Year-Plus Since This Site Made a Jon/John Jay Joke

Heritage Action has cornered the market on player pages with vaguely patriotic names.

The author can’t recall for sure, but definitely one of the big philosophers — like, probably Epictetus or Jacques Tati — writes somewhere that it ought to be the individual’s first (and perhaps only) concern to obey his True Nature. The precise dimensions of that Nature require some measure of discernment, obviously; that’s a given. Ultimately, though, it falls to that one in search of authentic living to identify and pursue those activities which resonate in his deepest self.

If one takes for granted the dictates of the aforementioned, and also not-entirely-identified, philosopher, then one must also conclude that the contributors to the present weblog have (collectively, if that’s possible) neglected some primal call from their interior selves. Because, regard: the St. Louis Cardinals, for their LCS game tonight, once again feature Jon Jay in center field. But regard, also: it’s somehow been at least a year, and almost certainly longer than that, since a member of this weblog wrote a post conflating, for comic effect, that Cardinals center-fielder with the American statesman of nearly the same name.

So far as bailiwicks are concerned, this ought to be entirely within ours. John Jay was an 18th century politician. He was, in part, responsible for the Federalist Papers. A dorm at no fewer than one important American university bears his name. His legacy is ripe for exploitation, is what one concludes.

And yet, neither a brief inspection, nor a slightly longer inspection than that, reveal any mention of Jon Jay (the baseballer) asking to be called Publius or arguing against the Articles of Confederation or passing his adult years in Bedford House, located near Katonah, New York. That’s a failing on the part of this site, is what it is — a failing that’s been partially, if obliquely, addressed by the composition of this very post.

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Carson Cistulli occasionally publishes spirited ejaculations at The New Enthusiast.

9 Responses to “It’s Been a Year-Plus Since This Site Made a Jon/John Jay Joke”

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  1. Aaron Burr says:

    Hamilton may have wanted the upper class to look after the lower class because of their strong financial ties to the government and, thus, them, but even Jefferson acknowledged the positive influence of manufacturing on the United States’ economy after Hamilton’s death.

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    • Benjamin Franklin says:


      Also, I was never the President. God damn people these days with their lacking knowledge of history.

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    • Josh Hamilton says:

      Actually I wanted the upper class to look after the lower class to prevent them from doing drugs.

      What Reggie Jefferson has to do with it I’m sure I don’t know.

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  2. ScrappyPunto says:

    In the outfield, Jay refuses to negotiate on neutral hitting lanes and the impressment of foreign fly balls.

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  3. The Return of Rambo Diaz says:

    At first, I thought this was going to be a humorous post, but then I realized the grave nature of the topic. I would presume that at today’s NotGraphs Staff Meeting/Ravishing, David Appelman will do everything in his power to correct this.

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  4. Kenny says:

    This is only tangentially related to the discussion, but I’d like to point out that John Jay Hall is a shithole.

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  5. Phil says:

    It’s worth noting that another American diplomat, instrumental in American Imperialism as Secretary of State, was similarly named John Hay.

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  6. Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McClish says:

    Big deal.

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