Jacoby Ellsbury: Mercenary

The Boston Globe has it right:

“Jacoby Ellsbury was never soft, but deal with Yankees proves he was a mercenary.”

It’s pretty crazy that Ellsbury has now become the first free agent to ever sign with a team that offered him a lot of money. A shock to the system given that Prince Fielder signed with the Tigers in 2012 for a bag of baseballs and a daily smile. Or knowing that Manny Ramirez signed with the Red Sox in 2001 for three hot dogs and a pair of shoes.

I am not a fan of Jacoby Ellsbury, for entirely I-made-a-fantasy-baseball-mistake-with-him reasons (I dropped him in a 13-keeper Scoresheet league, in favor of Austin Jackson, right before his 2011 breakout season, because I am bad at fantasy baseball), but that doesn’t mean I think it makes him a bad person to take the $153 million being offered to him and run, run, run into Adrian Beltre and Reid Brignac. The owners are certainly “mercenaries.” It’s a business. This is capitalism. He has every right to be celebrated for being a mercenary, not criticized for it.


Unless, of course, the Boston Globe means the other definition of mercenary, and Ellsbury has been hired for service in a foreign army… in which case, good luck to him! Though I expect, given his history, he may get injured in combat.

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

3 Responses to “Jacoby Ellsbury: Mercenary”

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  1. Chaco Chicken says:

    The proper American way to deal with a mercenary is to ambush him on Christmas.

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  2. Ben says:

    He’ll only get injured in combat if somebody fires an Adrian Beltre at him.

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  3. Peter R says:

    I couldn’t believe that article when I read it this afternoon. It is a joke. Glad is it being used as such here. Still can’t believe Pete Abraham used to be a beat writer covering the Yankees given how much he seems to despise them lol. At least he mentions WAR right?

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