Jays Set for Massive Free Agent Haul

The NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team recently stumbled upon some exciting news for Blue Jays fans who are still smarting from the loss of hope that Toronto-born Joey Votto – who recently signed a $200 million+ contract extension with the Cincinnati Reds – would sign for a few million loonies to play with the Jays once he hit free agency.

The Blue Jays front office is gearing up to throw millions and millions of dollars at free agents during the 2012-13 off-season. How is this possible, you might ask? The Jays have discovered a new (and seemingly massive) source of revenue. No, it’s not a new television deal… or a licensing agreement with a sporting apparel company.

It’s hotdogs.

Blue Jays Hotdogs... for reals, yo!

With this clear-cut winner of an idea we are certain that the club can count on at least an extra $30 million dollars to throw at the likes of Josh Hamilton, B.J. Upton, Zack Greinke, and Cole Hamels.

If the Blue Jays are looking to further dive into the supermarket wars, might I suggest one more item:

Does this seem fishy to you?

Clearly there is some money to be had in selling sardines.

(A special thank you goes to my wife who looked on with embarrassment while I photographed hotdogs and sardines at our local supermarket)

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Marc Hulet has been writing at FanGraphs since 2008. His work focuses on prospects, depth charts and fantasy. Follow him on Twitter @marchulet.

8 Responses to “Jays Set for Massive Free Agent Haul”

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  1. Big Jgke says:

    Why is the mustard always squiggly on hotdog advertisements?

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    • Cheese says:

      Obviously because it makes the weiner look thicker, and we all know everyone wants thicker meat in their mouth… just tastes better

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    • Illinois glass M. Michael Sheets says:

      The mustard is running away from an alligator.

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  2. bluejaysstatsgeek says:

    It would be nice if those dogs were rebranded Nathan’s!

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  3. GonzoFlyBall says:

    This strategy has worked before with the Blue Jays. Check out this gem:


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  4. Matt E says:

    Coming soon from Lester’s: Omar Vizquel Dogs (discounted because they’re nearly at their expiry date), Ricky Romero Mini Burger Buns (for devastating sliders), Jose Bautista Dogs (made from the most delicious Angus prime rib you could imagine but wasted because it’s sandwiched between two mediocre buns), Colby Rasmus Burgers (extra greasy and prone to flare-ups), Dustin McGowan Dogs (made from mutton chops, and a beef shoulder that’s been shredded beyond recognition)

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  5. Jon S. says:

    They’ve been doing the Lesters dogs for a couple years now. They definitely look more appealing with the new logo.

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