Jayson Werth, Channeling Woody’s Allen’s Sexual Magnetism

Anyone who has made a priority of acquainting him- or herself with the top jams of American cinema will recognize the following as a brief excerpt from the scene in Woody Allen’s 1975 film Love and Death in which Allen’s character Boris attempts to seduce the very ample Countess Alexandrovna at a performance of Mozart’s The Magic Flute.

Allen Tongue

Anyone who has made a priority of watching this afternoon’s contest between the Washingtons and Los Angelenos will recognize the following as footage of Jayson Werth pondering the imponderable during his seventh-inning plate appearance against hard-throwing Dodgers right-hander Chris Withrow:

Werth Tongue

Finally, anyone who has made a habit in his or her life of jumping to conclusions will feel zero hesitation in concluding now that Nationals outfielder Jayson Werth has made a sly reference to the filmography of Woody Allen during the aforementioned seventh-inning plate appearance.

Note, of course, that the verity of the conclusion is a secondary matter. More important is that it should be true.



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Carson Cistulli has just published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.


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Little Orphan Annie
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Little Orphan Annie

Please don’t let Mr. Werth adopt me!

Neville Chamberlain
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Neville Chamberlain

I personally believe that Werth, by virtue of his hirsuitous nature, is perpetually making a blatant reference to Chewbacca.

Randy Johnson
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Randy Johnson

The beard makes all the difference. Gotta hand it to him

Crazy Jorge
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Crazy Jorge

I personally believe that if Werth’s hands weren’t occupied by the bat, one of them would be holding its index and middle fingers in the v position beneath his lower lip.

Barack
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Barack

Anyone who has made a priority of following the weather in DC this week will recognize that Jayson is catching a raindrop.

RonnyRocket
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RonnyRocket

I demand to know when NotGraphs is going to review Dirk Hayhurst’s game.

TK
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TK

16-year-olds in the DC area be warned!

Mike Green
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Mike Green

Werth is never going to get anywhere with the convexly curved tongue move. Pure hairy macho posturing.

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