Jim Edmonds as a Duck

Tonight’s Daguerreotype of the Evening required alarmingly little deliberation on my part. After this sentence concludes, I think you’ll understand why …

The fact that the framers were fond of drawing celebrities of the day as ducks — every time Hamilton droned on and on about this or that, Jefferson would doodle Vivaldi as a giggling mallard, for instance — to this day informs originalist interpretations of the Constitution. So in some ways, a bewinged and bebilled Jim Edmonds fulfills Madison’s fondest hopes. Stated another way, if Jim Edmonds had never been rendered as a duck, then you’d be quartering soldiers in your home under threat of the hoosegow.

But all of this is obvious, of course.

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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

4 Responses to “Jim Edmonds as a Duck”

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  1. oryhara says:

    I sincerely believe this to be the best posting entry ever on Notgraphs. Never in the course of learning history did I learn so much in so little time. Thank you Mr. Perry. Thank you.

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  2. steex says:

    I don’t know about anyone else, but I could not avoid reading this in the same tone and cadence as “The President of the United States is…a DUCK!?!” from the most recent episode of South Park.

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  3. Brian says:

    HAHA that was a great episode “Who cares f**k it, you’ll pay to see it!”

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  4. Seitz says:

    I first read this headline as “Jim Edmonds is a dick”, and my initial reaction as an Angels fan was “I’m glad you’ve finally come to that realization, Dayn.” But alas…

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