Jim Palmer, Near-Framer of the Constitution

It is an unassailable fact of the historical record that Jim Palmer was tasked with writing very specific passages of the Constitution. “But James,” Gouverneur Morris cautioned him, “pen only the sexy parts.”

Jim Palmer, framer-to-be, was en route to the Constitutional Convention to fulfill his obligations as a member of the Patriotic gentry when the urges of Jim Palmer, passionsmith, took firm yet tender hold. “Milkmaids,” he said to them, “when the loins speak, the heart can’t help but listen.”

No one ravished another, yet there was ravishment …

Jim Palmer, Passionsmith

In Philadelphia there was heard the unmistakable click of many fingernails against a single headboard. Hamilton sighed resignedly. “Lord Palmer will not be joining us, it seems,” he said. “Jefferson, you may write the soiled parts.”

On this, that and every day and night, Jim Palmer set these prairies ablaze with dirty rapture.

Print This Post

Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.

6 Responses to “Jim Palmer, Near-Framer of the Constitution”

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
  1. Kyle says:

    Your move, Administrator.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Mr. Smooth says:

    It’s arousing me!!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. John says:

    What the heck is this? I thought it would be about his ability to carve the strike zone.. Freedom of speech I guess, but I am very confused.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. m as in mancy says:

    i’d have to check the bushes, but i’m pretty sure this is early 80s porn.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. HItler But Sadder says:

    the only problem I find with this is the English Pig soldier

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Nick says:

    Jim Palmer may or may not have been on his way to Philadelphia, but Jefferson was in France.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Current ye@r *