- NotGraphs Baseball - http://www.fangraphs.com/not -

Jim Palmer, Near-Framer of the Constitution

Posted By Dayn Perry On February 26, 2013 @ 1:35 pm In Aqua Velva Men,The History of History | 6 Comments

It is an unassailable fact of the historical record that Jim Palmer was tasked with writing very specific passages of the Constitution. “But James,” Gouverneur Morris cautioned him, “pen only the sexy parts.”

Jim Palmer, framer-to-be, was en route to the Constitutional Convention to fulfill his obligations as a member of the Patriotic gentry when the urges of Jim Palmer, passionsmith, took firm yet tender hold. “Milkmaids,” he said to them, “when the loins speak, the heart can’t help but listen.”

No one ravished another, yet there was ravishment …

Jim Palmer, Passionsmith

In Philadelphia there was heard the unmistakable click of many fingernails against a single headboard. Hamilton sighed resignedly. “Lord Palmer will not be joining us, it seems,” he said. “Jefferson, you may write the soiled parts.”

On this, that and every day and night, Jim Palmer set these prairies ablaze with dirty rapture.


Article printed from NotGraphs Baseball: http://www.fangraphs.com/not

URL to article: http://www.fangraphs.com/not/jim-palmer-near-framer-of-the-constitution/

Copyright © 2011 NotGraphs Baseball. All rights reserved.