Jobs for Charlie Manuel

MLB: Philadelphia Phillies at Washington Nationals

You may remember a while back when then-Phillies Manager Charlie Manuel was fired in the midst of a disappointing season. There was a mixture of anger, confusion, and sadness entwined in this event. But fear not, fair NotGraphs reader, as it appears that the Phillies are reaching out and looking to find ‘ol Cholly another job within the ball club. The following are some open posts for which the Phillies are looking to utilize Manuel’s talents.

  • Assistant Varmint Wrangler
  • Head Varmint Wrangler
  • Executive Grandpa
  • Associate Historian in Charge of Storytellin’
  • Manager – Department of Handshakes that Last too Long
  • Christmas Party Santa Claus (part-time)
  • Chief Swearing Strategist
  • False Teeth Consultant
  • Vice President of Belly Laughs
  • Lead Beer Taster
  • Chief Technology Complainer
  • Assistant Director of Community Outreach and General Outrage
  • Whirlpool Soiler (contract-only)
  • Project Lead – Chitlins
  • Napper-in-Residence
  • Liaison – Department of Balms and Salves

We here at NotGraphs wish Charlie the best with his transition.

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David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.

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As a BeerGraphs contributor, I’m offended that you’d offer him #10. What has he done to deserve it? As someone cut out to be a Varmint Wrangler, head or assistant, I’m not sure he would cut out to taste anything aside from crappy domestics as they go well with his chitlins.

golden jerseys, sparkle pants
golden jerseys, sparkle pants

“Executive Grandpa” may be the most darling combination of words I’ve ever read.


Claiming it right here, right now – that’s my new band name.