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Joe West Ejected the UC Davis Pepper Spray Cop

By now the reader is likely to have seen photos or video of this riot cop who last week attempted to disperse a group of #Occupy protesters at the University of California, Davis by nonchalantly pepper spraying them in their faces.

Since footage of the incident hit the web, there has been a mad dash to learn more about the “UC Davis Pepper Spray Cop.”

I am pleased to say that I have unearthed more details about this man’s past. Photographic evidence I have received by way of an anonymous tipster appears to show that as recently as five months ago, the UC Davis Pepper Spray Cop was an employee of the Vancouver Police Department. On the night of June 15, 2011, this officer was deployed to downtown Vancouver to assist in containing the riot that had broken out following the Canucks’ loss in the Stanley Cup Finals. Sure enough, he helped a rioter who had surrendered himself for arrest to a face full of pepper spray on this night as well.

Fortunately, baseball’s preeminent authoritarian personality, Joe West, was there to eject the Vancouver Police Department’s preeminent authoritarian personality on the spot:

The disgraced Vancouver Pepper Spray Cop then assumed the name “John Pike” and fled Canada for the United States using falsified documents. He settled in Davis, California and took a job on the UC Davis police force and the rest is history.

When reached for comment about this cop somehow being allowed to spray again, West said “It’s a sad day for me, and a sad day for our country. Maybe some good can come of this, though. Maybe the gosh darn government will finally listen to my recommendations on who should be allowed entry into our country.”

“Oh, and buy my country western album, Blue Cowboy!” he added.