My poor kid is sick and now it’s like a Madison Bumgarner start in here. #snotrockets
— Drew F (@DrewGROF) December 10, 2012
Baseball has offered to the English language a number of expressions with which to colorfully and compactly describe otherwise mundane or more complicated ideas. To say, for example, that something has “come out of left field” means that it’s surprising and unexpected. To “hit a home run” with a project means to do a great job with it. To “get to second base” with a special lady means — according to my wife, whom I trust implicitly — means to quietly read in the same room as her and not touch her or even look at her, if at all possible.
Most of these expressions, however, have lost their original vitality through repetition. In the face of this, however, the very kind and even more baritoned Drew Fairservice of Getting Blanked offers us the above-embedded message regarding the similarities between a Madison Bumgarner start and his own spawn’s ill health.
Now, NotGraphs is happy to release — in the same spirit as Fairservice’s missive — is happy to release today five (five!) new baseballing expressions for common use.
Five expressions like these five:
Expression: Delmon Young Career Arc
Meaning: Promise, followed by disappointment — also, then maybe followed by a very public display of anti-Semitism.
Example: “My college career was real Delmon Young career arc. I started with a scholarship, but flunked out by sophomore spring. Also: Jews, amirite?”
Expression: Blue Jays Trade Negotiation
Meaning: Totally secretive.
Example: “My wife was cheating on me for five years and I didn’t even know. A total Blue Jays trade negotiation.”
Expression: Steve Lyons Situation
Meaning: Someone or -ones are removing their pants in public.
Example: “You should come out to the bar, bro. Got a Steve Lyons situation over here.”
Expression: Josh Beckett Start
Meaning: Totally and unnecessarily prolonged, dragged out.
Example: “Torts class was a Josh Beckett start today. MacPherson v. Buick is only so interesting.”
Expression: Wade Boggs
Meaning: Verb meaning “to drink enthusiastically and with vigor.”
Example: “These beers aren’t gonna Wade Boggs themselves, guys.”