Ken Griffey Junior Executive


Ken Griffey Junior Executive is nothing like a junior executive. Rather, at age 20, he is the Chief Executive of World Baseball Talent. He reports directly to Willie Mays himself.

Ken Griffey Junior Executive hasn’t any time to write or type, but whatever he projects into this state-of-the-art car-phone receiver — right down to that infectious smile — is transcribed by adoring millions. Right now he is finalizing the acquisition of a majority stake in the newly public stock of fashion-sweater moguls Dolce & Cosbyana. Ken Griffey Junior Executive will see to it that his fashion-sweaters are made of 100% ebullience.

Ken Griffey Junior Executive is driving a lightly used 1988 BMW M5 not out of financial necessity (pffft!) or any sense of frugality, but rather because it is far classier than the new 1990 version of the same model. Also, his million-dollar ass cannot be put in jeopardy by the arduous task of breaking in that stiff Bimmer leather. Next month, Ken Griffey Junior Executive will buy a new lightly used 1988 BMW M5.

Ken Griffey Junior Executive was just checking in on his Ken Griffey Junior Smiles Outlet, where his used smiles are sold at wholesale prices with a portion of the profits benefitting children’s charities. Now, he is off to consult with the printer about some new business cards. Bone coloring with Silian Rail font? Eggshell with Romalian type? Ken Griffey Junior Executive is thinking of something more subtle: an off-white stock of tasteful weight, watermarked with a nautical compass…




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Rico
Guest
Rico
2 years 6 months ago

Banknotes Harper admires Ken Griffey Junior Executive’s moxie.

Danny Knobgobbler
Guest
Danny Knobgobbler
2 years 6 months ago

Actually, Banknotes Harper privately derides Junior as he lords over his simultaneous short position on Dolce & Cosbyana and his long position on Coogi Partners, LLC. Incidentally, Banknotes Harper knows a thing or two about long positions.

triple_r
Member
Member
2 years 6 months ago

Is this a thing? This needs to be a thing.

Locke
Guest
Locke
2 years 6 months ago

By virtue of its existence, it would seem to “be a thing.”

Classical Republicanism
Guest
Classical Republicanism
2 years 6 months ago

Hey, get out of here! This ain’t no place for someone like you.

AC of DC
Guest
AC of DC
2 years 6 months ago

KGJE appears to have opted for the Euro model, presumably to protect that valuable left arm from undue exposure to sun, wind, and t-bone collisions. Or the photo is reversed.

André
Guest
André
2 years 6 months ago

Ken Griffey Junior Executive is driving a Euro model, but he had the photo reversed twice to throw off any suspicions of a merger with Otto Hess Bern.

Antonio Bananas
Guest
Antonio Bananas
2 years 6 months ago

Could he get an 8 o’clock Saturday night reservation at Dorsia?

Illinois glass M. Michael Sheets
Guest
Illinois glass M. Michael Sheets
2 years 5 months ago

KGJE invented peanut butter soup with smoked duck and mashed squash. Who do you think told New York magazine it was a ‘playful but mysterious little dish.”

KGJE thinks the red snapper with violets and pine nuts will follow nicely.

Antonio Bananas
Guest
Antonio Bananas
2 years 5 months ago

New York matinee called it that actually.

Ben
Guest
Ben
2 years 5 months ago

Is this to be read as “Ken Griffey Junior, Executive” or “Ken Griffey, Junior Executive?”

Art Vandelay
Guest
Art Vandelay
2 years 5 months ago

Ken Griffey Junior Executive.

Dwight Schrute
Guest
Dwight Schrute
2 years 5 months ago

Junior Executive, no doubt!

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