Kershaw vs. Palau: A Cheat Sheet

kershaw

After signing his new contract, Clayton Kershaw is approximately equal in value to the Gross Domestic Product of the Republic of Palau. To avoid any confusion between the two entities, I’ve prepared this handy table of comparisons.

Kershaw Palau
Achieved independence 2006 1994
Official languages English English, Palauan
Ethnic makeup English, German 70% Palauan, 15% Filipino, 15% Other
Highest point Top of head (1.91m) Mount Ngerchelchuus (242m)
Drives on the right right
Population 1 21,000
Religion Methodist Christian, Modekngei, other
Preferred sport Baseball Baseball
Secondary sport Ping-pong Football (soccer)
Education Highland Park High School Some fields of study are available at Palau Community College.
Cuisine Donuts, Mexican food Cassava, taro, yam, potato, fish, pork
Career highlights 2x Cy Young winner, 3x All-Star, 2011 NL Pitching Triple Crown Featured in Journey 2: The Mysterious Island; voted for the world’s first nuclear-free constitution.
Alternate spellings Cleyton, Cleighton, Claytown Belau, Pelew
Anthem OneRepublic, “All the Right Moves” Belau rekid (Our Palau)
Special cause Built orphanage in Zambia Created world’s first shark sanctuary
Bats Left Mariana Fruit Bat, Large Palau Flying Fox




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9 Responses to “Kershaw vs. Palau: A Cheat Sheet”

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  1. Bartolo Colon says:

    Kershaw might match Palau in wealth, but money is not every thing.

    Size is what matters.

    +6 Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Bombo Rivera says:

    GDP?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. Daniel says:

    Are you sure it is not the Republic of Broccoli?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Paul G. says:

    I’m also pretty sure that Kershaw was not a WWII battle site either. Now if we were talking about Brian Wilson, there could be a few Japanese holdouts hiding in the beard to this day. But not Kershaw.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. Clock says:

    love the pic, and the embiggenableness of it.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. Taft's wild pitch says:

    10 career GiDP

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. frivoflava29 says:

    Am I the only person who’s going to point out that the Large Palau flying fox has been extinct for over a century? Completely and utterly ruined this article

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. Ransom says:

    Now I want to play Clayton Kershaw in ping-pong.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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