Kevin Youkilis Used to Live Here

Kevin Youkilis, who ain’t too good at grammars, will return to Boston for the first time since being traded to the Chicago White Sox just over three weeks ago.

Well, it’s not exactly the first time. About a week after being traded he flew back to Boston to retrieve some personal items. “Yeah, I forgot to pack underwear, and my best toothbrush was still all in my Boston condo. I had to all feed the fish and stuff.” During this trip, he did not see any of his old teammates, he said, but he did stop for a nice Boston-style frappe at Toscanini’s. “Ain’t nothing like it,” he said, staring wistfully off to the east.

On the day trip in question, Youk enjoyed a double scoop of lemon
pistachio ice cream in a sugar cone in addition to his frappe.

About returning again to Boston — this time to play in front of formerly-adoring fans and among former teammates — Youk waxed emotional: “It will be different. It will be a different feeling, different dugout and all that stuff. Different emotions, but you have to bear down and really focus…. It’s what the game brings you. A lot of people there will be cheering me on and some … won’t…”

Creamy tears welled up in the infielder’s eyes. “I used to live there, ya know? I got pictures of places from all around there. Pictures with all fans there. Some friends I made for life.”

“Still,” he continued after a moment’s silence, “looking back, what all did it mean? I never felt like I knew how to live there, quite.”

John Darnielle feels you, Youk. He feels you.

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5 Responses to “Kevin Youkilis Used to Live Here”

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  1. tyler says:

    meanwhile, Bobby Valentine has sent Youkilis a mix cd that just includes ‘no children’ 12 times

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    • Robert J. Baumann says:

      That would make Bobby Valentine so much awesomer than I think he really is.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. John says:

    Kevin make up for bad grammar with fantastic sense of funny

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  3. dandy warhols says:

    we used to be friends

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  4. Brian says:

    Didn’t Youk used to live on your dynasty team too? He’s happier in KC now.
    { : ^ D

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