Learn How to Cheer for a Home Run from Former GOP Presidential Candidate John McCain!

Since you are a baseball fan, you probably have cheered for a home run before. You probably have been cheering for home runs for years. But you probably never have examined how you have cheered for all of those home runs. Maybe you never have asked yourself what the optimal way to cheer for a home run is; you never have fretted over cheering for home runs before a home run happens, nor have you felt dumb about the way you cheered for a home run after you did so.

Well, you should feel dumb. Because no matter what you have done to cheer after a home run, you have never done it correctly. You have been doing it all wrong for all these years.

Thankfully (and thanks especially to NotGraphs reader Eric Rood for his hot, GIF-able tip), former GOP presidential candidate and current senior US Senator of Arizona John McCain is here to show us the way — the only way — to properly cheer for a home run. He shall show us all.

First and foremost: tuck in your shirt. You don’t want to look like a slacker when cheering for a home run. The cheering of slackers doesn’t really count as cheering.

Next, if at all possible, try to stand in front of a guy in a Zac Brown Band t-shirt. This provides an awesome, patriotic backdrop for your cheering.

Then — here’s the really important stuff — do your best impression of an elated zombie by reaching out your arms, and keeping them stiff. Open your mouth in something that resembles a palsied yelp. Rotate 90-degrees away from your wife (so as to disassociate yourself with her pathetic clapping), and then back again — with stiff arms still outstretched, of course.

Then you need to wave your hands in front of your face as if you can’t see, but make sure you still look really really happy. Then remember that you are a famous person, turn to wave at someone who was not really waving or even acknowledging you, and give them a big old American thumbs up.

Finally, clap one time.

If everyone else is still standing and cheering, repeat from the beginning.




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Failedstate
Member
Member
Failedstate
2 years 4 months ago

Thanks dick, now I know what if feels like to have Zima shoot out of my nose from laughing so hard… my keyboard hates you too.

Willie Aikens
Guest
Willie Aikens
2 years 4 months ago

drinking zima was your first mistake, boss

Yirmiyahu
Member
2 years 4 months ago

I’m all for making fun of people (especially white-haired Republicans), but I’m guessing that you’re not aware that John McCain moves stiffly and can’t raise his arms because of his POW injuries.

psycho
Guest
psycho
2 years 4 months ago

mccain is a psycho who wouldn’t blink at sending you or your kids to die on the other side of the world for nothing, who cares

Soup
Guest
Soup
2 years 4 months ago

You are a psycho.

bunny
Guest
bunny
2 years 4 months ago

Ooli doesn’t care about anything, he’s a nihilist.

Donny
Guest
Donny
2 years 4 months ago

Are they Nazis, Walter?

Yirmiyahu
Member
2 years 4 months ago

Say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.

Jason
Guest
Jason
2 years 4 months ago

I think it is reasonable to have less sympathy for a victim of warfare when that person is excitedly and unreservedly for using military force whenever possible and to the greatest extent possible.

me
Guest
me
2 years 4 months ago

“excitedly and unreservedly” is a little disingenuous, don’t you think? while i definitely don’t agree with some of the stances he’s taken, it doesn’t mean he takes them lightly (or that hes gotten excited about them). come on.

this is still a trashy article no matter how you slice it. fangraphs should be better than this. the fact that we’re even talking about this instead of having the usual nonsensical fun tells you everything you need to know. no one comes to this site to talk about this kind of thing.

Jason
Guest
Jason
2 years 4 months ago

No, sorry, I don’t believe McCain is above being made the object of fun.

me
Guest
me
2 years 4 months ago

How in the world did you come to that conclusion?

therood
Member
2 years 4 months ago

POW injuries aside, what really struck me about it was the impression from the broadcast and from his own reaction that McCain appears to think people are cheering for him.

Yirmiyahu
Member
2 years 4 months ago

Yeah, that part’s totally true. Proceed with the fun-making.

bunny
Guest
bunny
2 years 4 months ago

it’s Arizona. they are.

Josh B
Guest
Josh B
2 years 4 months ago

Well, if nothing else, this post helps alleviate that oogy feeling of guilt I get in my stomach for reading Fangraphs ever since I was told most of the writers are Republicans.

Crudely Put
Guest
Crudely Put
2 years 4 months ago

You mean a site whose writers are exclusively middle and upper-middle class college educated white men… who study the economics of a sport whose median salary represents 50-100 times the national median household salary without much of any consideration to the societal return of those invested dollars…who are prone to view the world in a cold, calculating, and amoral way…who were once iconoclasts and now make up the mainstream…who trumpet analytics above all else…

you mean these people aren’t the bench of the next Clinton administration!? HA! You should be pleased that Cistulli didn’t have to drop the vowel from his last name to write here.

Josh B
Guest
Josh B
2 years 4 months ago

Not sure what a college education and an interest in analytics (Hello climate scientists! Actually, hello ALL scientists!!) would make you think someone is a Republican, but OK.

Soup
Guest
Soup
2 years 4 months ago

Can you really criticize analysis in general? Maybe a particular method but being rational?

Bitter Beane
Member
Bitter Beane
2 years 4 months ago

I recollect that college educated voters tend to vote for Democrats.

Michael Barr
Member
Member
Michael Barr
2 years 4 months ago

Did Nate Silver tell you that?

Robert Hombre
Guest
Robert Hombre
2 years 4 months ago

That Carson certainly seems of the type who would he waves his large plural of guns around like a phallus.

All of the NotGraphs writers, really. Creative Writing MFA programs are really a beehive for Scalia drones.

Robert Hombre
Guest
Robert Hombre
2 years 4 months ago

I deserve all your ridicule.

Glenn
Guest
Glenn
2 years 4 months ago

That is not John McCain’s wife.

Yirmiyahu
Member
2 years 4 months ago

The blonde in the blue top looks like Cindy McCain to me.

mgoetze
Member
mgoetze
2 years 4 months ago

Is that a Hitler Salute in the second GIF?

Carlisle
Guest
Carlisle
2 years 4 months ago

Good lord. How is this a forum for socialism, bipartisanship, POW treatment…
Old man looking silly, as old men are want to do. Smile and move on you weirdos.

NothingofValuetoAdd
Guest
NothingofValuetoAdd
2 years 4 months ago

Cindy McCain is Hawt Sauce, yo

Paul G.
Guest
Paul G.
2 years 4 months ago

Ah, making fun of unrestrained joy. Ya know what? People engaging in unrestrained joy acting goofy generally don’t care of your opinion on their form. Kinda how unrestrained joy works. Part of unrestrained joy is not giving a hoot. Baseball needs more unrestrained joy. Life needs more unrestrained joy. People of the world, I urge you to celebrate unrestrained joy using whatever celebratory gyrations feel right! Even the Macarena! Even very poorly executed efforts to simulate the Macarena! I’ll even go with the slow clap, damnit! Joy!

OhBeepy
Guest
OhBeepy
2 years 4 months ago

Holy shit, you guys.

Holy shit.

heroin-and-puppies
Guest
heroin-and-puppies
2 years 4 months ago

This was a terrific post, derived from an even better GIF. Nobody should be apologizing or cowed because a loud flag waver got his panties in a bunch.
Notgraphs is the EXACT PLACE for this type of work, the Politically Correct masses will hopefully be alienated enough (or shrink to reasonable numbers) to stop coming to this site. While this might not be great for Appleman and his billions, one could think McCain suffered SO WE COULD read this type of nonsense freely.

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