Let Us Now Christen Ivan Calderon

First, lay eyes, heart and soul upon this, your Daguerreotype of the Evening …

Now, based on this photo and its many, many blessed connotations, what should Mr. Calderon’s nickname be?

A – Smooth Jazz
B – Pendergrass Stains
C – Sexual Face
D – Jheri Seinfeld
E – Love and Rockets
F – Whole Soul
G – [Your Suggestions Here]

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15 Responses to “Let Us Now Christen Ivan Calderon”

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  1. MNzach says:

    OMG yes.

    I have an Ivan Calderon rookie card in my collection. Probably worth about 34 whole cents, American.

    P.S. Jheri Seinfeld is lolmazing Pendergrass Stains would also be acceptable.

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  2. Steve Ryan says:

    Best Fight Ever when he was with the Chattanooga Lookouts. Made the Cubs-Reds fight with Farnsworth seem like a slap fight.

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  3. ralf says:

    Nicknames, whatever. I want a trophy that just says “best”.

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    • Yirmiyahu says:

      It says “Bust”

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      • camisadelgolf says:

        Yeah, that former All-Star Ivan Calderon sure was a bust. Speaking of Calderon, after the Red Sox obtained him in a trade, they couldn’t find him for months while he was in Puerto Rico. Years later, he was brutally murdered in his home country.

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  4. Austin says:

    It has to be “whole soul.”

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  5. Del B. Vista says:

    G — Simmering Calderon of Awesome

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  6. Mat says:

    G- V-neck Calderon

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  7. bgrosnick says:

    Love and Rockets, for sure.

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  8. bgrosnick says:

    Sorry for the double-post, how about “The Velvet Hammer” as another nickname option.

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  9. Jason Parks says:

    “Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Jackson Heights’ own, Mr. Randy Watson!”

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  10. Chris says:

    He looks like a Smooth Jazz kinda guy

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  11. “just the tip”

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