It’s been quite some time since the present author went looking for people looking for love in baseballing places in his groundbreaking first post for NotGraphs.
Now that the new season is upon us, however, we must again turn to the Missed Connections section of Craigslist dot org to find would-be lovers searching for a modicum of affection amongst the filthy masses known as baseball fans. Observe:
Our first entry does not inspire much hope. I can’t speak from experience, but I imagine drunk people with cameras are not too hard to come by at Tigers games. You should have said more then, sir, and you should have said more now. You will never find your one true love with such scant details. However, if you have her picture, a reverse Google image search might help.
First off, and I speak from experience, most girls do not like to be described as “thick.” Though, props to you for crossing the eye line of this lady while performing what had to truly be some manly “messing around going over a poll.” Nothing is a bigger panty-dropper than a dude acting like a dipshit.
Poor Sam. He met the woman of his dreams, and he can’t even remember her name. However, depending on his definition of “cornhole,” she will most likely have a very vivid recollection of him.
This post is totally Milwaukee — directions based on street corners, beer, Brewers, and do-it-yourself car repair. Godspeed, 37-year-old male.
If you think, fair reader, that I will name any of my future fantasy baseball teams anything but The Kennesaw Mountain Cuties, then you are the dumbest fucking person alive.
This has been Looking for Love in Baseballing Places.