Matt Kemp is Business Handsome

Matt Kemp — Chevalier Matt Kemp — wears what appears to be a double-windsor knot. He does this because he is a gentleman. He is festooned with a pocket square. On occasion, he uses it to wash his hands of the entire affair. He is not a frequenter of locally sourced whores. This is because he need not pay for the hubba-hubba.

Chevalier Matt Kemp is paid millions for being good at baseball. But even if he were not good at baseball, he would make the same amount of lucre from various wealthy patrons of the gorgeous and obliging.

Chevalier Matt Kemp is Business Handsome.

In the Admiral’s Clubs of America’s hub airports those who travel for the love of the transaction are seeing Chevalier Matt Kemp on the cover of this, the magazine of choice for the toads of American balance sheets and the pallid, doughy bodies in which they are encased.

Chevalier Matt Kemp is not of them, and Chevalier Matt Kemp is not among them. He dips his balls in their beggared habits.

Chevalier Matt Kemp is Business Handsome.




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Handsome Dayn Perry can be found making love to the reader at CBSSports.com's Eye on Baseball. He is available for all your Twitter needs.


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RamboDiaz
Member
4 years 5 months ago

Oh, to be as Business Handsome as Chevalier Matt Kemp.

Resolution
Guest
Resolution
4 years 5 months ago

Notgraphs has markedly improved my vocabulary. If only it existed prior to when I took the GREs.

Yovani Gallardo's new Best friend
Guest
Yovani Gallardo's new Best friend
4 years 5 months ago

Como esta usted?

nu billy baroo
Guest
nu billy baroo
4 years 5 months ago

said it in his rookie year -this guy is going to be huge when he figures IT out, both baseball & marketability.

Robert J. Baumann
Member
Member
4 years 5 months ago

Dayn Perry, you fucking genius. May you never need pay for the hubba-hubba.

Robert J. Baumann
Member
Member
4 years 5 months ago

Also, someone needs to use “the toads of American balance sheets” as a band name, something, hell.

deadhead
Member
deadhead
4 years 5 months ago

Please, Yovani’s friend, don’t feel compelled to use the usted form here. We are more than that. Be comfortable. Use the tu form with us.

deadhead
Member
deadhead
4 years 5 months ago

Mr. Perry, in honor of the Dodgers being sold, can you please confirm a nickname for me? I have been referring to Earvin Santana as Earvin “Magik the Gathering” Santana. Is this correct?

ettin
Guest
ettin
4 years 5 months ago

Earvin? Is that the sound that Santana’s car makes?

Nathan
Guest
Nathan
4 years 5 months ago

Hehe, he said, “dips his balls.”

tylersnotes
Member
4 years 5 months ago

Add his ability to successfully carry off a peak lapel as one of the many ways in which Matt Kemp is better than the common man

martyn
Guest
martyn
4 years 5 months ago

Lots of folk live on their wits:
Lecturers, lispers,
Losers, loblolly-men, louts-
They don’t end as paupers;

Lots of folk live up lanes
With fires in a bucket,
Eat windfalls and tinned sardines-
They seem to like it.

nelson saint
Guest
nelson saint
4 years 4 months ago

It is a poorly tied four-in-hand knot. Note the lack of a dimple. Poor knotting leads to losing both the MVP award and Rihanna.

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