Mike Trout Continues to Amaze, Achieves Thigh Gap

Mike Trout just can’t stand losing. Last week when Target revealed their completely reasonable and not at all absurd/deplorable/alien-like standards for the human body, Trout took note. Six days and thousands of reps on the awkward crotch compression workout machine thing later… well just take a look for yourself:

Trout Thigh Gap

Mike Trout is now not only the best baseball player ever for his age, he’s also just as beautiful as a photoshop-mangled Target underwear model. What CAN’T he do?! #thinspiration!




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Zach is an egregious malcontent whose life goal is to literally become the London Tube. @itszachreynolds.


26 Responses to “Mike Trout Continues to Amaze, Achieves Thigh Gap”

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  1. DerekJeterGiftBasket says:

    I heard that this is achieved with Suzanne Sommers’ new machine, The SquareMaster.

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  2. JerekDeterGiftBasket says:

    I heard that this is achieved by using Suzanne Sommers’ new exercise machine, the SquareMaster.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. GerekBeterDiftJasket says:

    I heard that this is achieved with use of Suzanne Sommers’ new exercise machine, the SquareMaster.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. DiftBeterJerekGasket says:

    ■Master is him

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  5. DuzanneJommersMareSquaster says:

    I heard that this is achieved with use of Derek Jeter’s’ new exercise machine, the GiftBasket.

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  6. DerekJeterGiftBasket says:

    Thank you, my minions!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. steex says:

    What’s almost equally amazing is that the person we can faintly see through Trout’s thigh gap is wearing the exact same t-shirt as the person visible behind his left hand! What are the odds?

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  8. rustydude says:

    If Mike Trout were to get involved with the search for Malaysia Flt 370, the plane would be found lickety split.

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  9. tz says:

    Did Trout just straddle a super-huge wine bottle to get that gap?

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  10. Jenstrom says:

    Thin is not the word. The word is anorexic. Gross.

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  11. Tim Burwell says:

    The elusive 6th quantifiable tool.

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  12. Moke Truit says:

    Mike Trout’s got a Camelback Ranch for ya.

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  13. Hitler But Sadder says:

    I’m finding this very hard to masturbate to.

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