Mike Trout Continues to Amaze, Achieves Thigh Gap

Mike Trout just can’t stand losing. Last week when Target revealed their completely reasonable and not at all absurd/deplorable/alien-like standards for the human body, Trout took note. Six days and thousands of reps on the awkward crotch compression workout machine thing later… well just take a look for yourself:

Trout Thigh Gap

Mike Trout is now not only the best baseball player ever for his age, he’s also just as beautiful as a photoshop-mangled Target underwear model. What CAN’T he do?! #thinspiration!



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Zach is an egregious malcontent whose life goal is to literally become the London Tube. @itszachreynolds.


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DerekJeterGiftBasket
Guest
DerekJeterGiftBasket

I heard that this is achieved with Suzanne Sommers’ new machine, The SquareMaster.

JerekDeterGiftBasket
Guest
JerekDeterGiftBasket

I heard that this is achieved by using Suzanne Sommers’ new exercise machine, the SquareMaster.

GerekBeterDiftJasket
Guest
GerekBeterDiftJasket

I heard that this is achieved with use of Suzanne Sommers’ new exercise machine, the SquareMaster.

FANTASIA MCADDAMS
Guest
FANTASIA MCADDAMS

Hey, you already said that

MasturBeaterStiffJackit
Guest
MasturBeaterStiffJackit

I heard that this is achieved by taking many Ron Jeremy ExtenZe pills and excessive use of a Fleshlight

DiftBeterJerekGasket
Guest
DiftBeterJerekGasket

■Master is him

DuzanneJommersMareSquaster
Guest
DuzanneJommersMareSquaster

I heard that this is achieved with use of Derek Jeter’s’ new exercise machine, the GiftBasket.

Well-Beered Englishman
Guest
Well-Beered Englishman

Are you high?

Resolution
Guest
Resolution

comment image

John Elway
Member

I don’t know what the hay a “squaster” is, but I highly advise any mare against using one.

Just neighing.

scatterbrian
Member
Member
scatterbrian

Oh, hey Dad. When did you start coming to this site?

DerekJeterGiftBasket
Guest
DerekJeterGiftBasket

Thank you, my minions!

Foghorn Leghorn
Guest
Foghorn Leghorn

Shut up, ya foo!

steex
Guest
steex

What’s almost equally amazing is that the person we can faintly see through Trout’s thigh gap is wearing the exact same t-shirt as the person visible behind his left hand! What are the odds?

rustydude
Member
rustydude

If Mike Trout were to get involved with the search for Malaysia Flt 370, the plane would be found lickety split.

RonnyRocket
Guest
RonnyRocket

And he would find Flight 19 and Amelia Earhart on his way home.

Garys of Olde
Member
Member
Garys of Olde

So now he’s the new Chuck Norris joke? Let’s stay focused. He’s just beautiful.

Garys of Olde
Member
Member
Garys of Olde

…square thigh gap and all.

Utah Dave
Guest
Utah Dave

…and Jimmy Hoffa.

tz
Guest
tz

Did Trout just straddle a super-huge wine bottle to get that gap?

Jenstrom
Guest
Jenstrom

Thin is not the word. The word is anorexic. Gross.

Tim Burwell
Guest
Tim Burwell

The elusive 6th quantifiable tool.

Jason B
Guest
Jason B

That’s what I call my dingus, too.

Crack Davis
Member
Crack Davis

Mike Trout’s got a Camelback Ranch for ya.

Failedstate
Member
Member
Failedstate

I’m finding this very hard to masturbate to.

wpDiscuz