MLB TeeVee: SeinFuld

This is the second in a series of short excerpts from MLB Network’s entirely imaginary new fall sitcoms. More details here.

Today’s show: SEINFULD

INT. RAYS DUGOUT -- DAY

SAM and GEORGE are sitting on the bench.

SAM

Joe Maddon caught me.

GEORGE

He caught you?

SAM

Yeah, he caught me.

GEORGE

Oh, he’s caught me dozens of times. I always think I’m alone, but then, there he is. It’s very embarrassing. But it’s hard to stay occupied when you’re a bench player. I get bored.

SAM

No, idiot. He caught me trying to learn how to throw a knuckleball.

GEORGE

I’ve never heard that euphemism before.

SAM

It’s not a euphemism. I’m trying to learn how to throw a knuckleball in order to extend my career, since it seems like I am not destined to stay healthy and productive for long enough stretches as an outfielder, despite my excellent defense, solid batting eye, surprising power, and unique biographical details that make me a fan favorite among the well-educated and sabermetrically-aware baseball fans.

GEORGE

I thought you were talking about something else.

SAM

Yes, I figured that out.




Print This Post

Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.


2 Responses to “MLB TeeVee: SeinFuld”

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
  1. Hosewalt says:

    (slap bass)

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Big Daddy V says:

    KYLE FARNSWORTH enters, knocking over a stack of pots and pans.

    KYLE: Giddyup.

    +31 Vote -1 Vote +1

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>