MLB TeeVee: SeinFuld

This is the second in a series of short excerpts from MLB Network’s entirely imaginary new fall sitcoms. More details here.

Today’s show: SEINFULD


SAM and GEORGE are sitting on the bench.


Joe Maddon caught me.


He caught you?


Yeah, he caught me.


Oh, he’s caught me dozens of times. I always think I’m alone, but then, there he is. It’s very embarrassing. But it’s hard to stay occupied when you’re a bench player. I get bored.


No, idiot. He caught me trying to learn how to throw a knuckleball.


I’ve never heard that euphemism before.


It’s not a euphemism. I’m trying to learn how to throw a knuckleball in order to extend my career, since it seems like I am not destined to stay healthy and productive for long enough stretches as an outfielder, despite my excellent defense, solid batting eye, surprising power, and unique biographical details that make me a fan favorite among the well-educated and sabermetrically-aware baseball fans.


I thought you were talking about something else.


Yes, I figured that out.

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

2 Responses to “MLB TeeVee: SeinFuld”

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  1. Hosewalt says:

    (slap bass)

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Big Daddy V says:

    KYLE FARNSWORTH enters, knocking over a stack of pots and pans.

    KYLE: Giddyup.

    +31 Vote -1 Vote +1

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