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MLB TeeVee: The Big Hurt Theory
Posted By Jeremy Blachman On May 23, 2012 @ 12:30 pm In MLB TeeVee | 3 Comments
This is the seventh in a series of short excerpts from MLB Network’s entirely imaginary new fall sitcoms. More details here.
Today’s show: THE BIG HURT THEORY
INT. FRANK’S APARTMENT -- DAY
Frank is watching a ballgame on TV.
...and that’s strike three. Another strikeout by the Sox.
Even three years out of baseball, I could do better than this.
Actually, Frank, you couldn’t. Do you know how quickly reaction time slows as you age? You haven’t even used most of your hitting muscles since 2008. You’d be lucky to get a hit off Jamie Moyer out there.
Jamie Moyer is six years older than me.
Uh, yeah. What other kind of age is there?
What other kind of age is there? You’re funny, Frank. There’s mental age, there’s developmental age, emotional age. For instance, while my chronological age is 32, my mental age is 157.
And your emotional age?
Well, I think I could still hit a fastball.
Only on the moon, Frank. Only on the moon.
Why the moon?
FRANK pulls out his phone, dials a number.
Hey, remind me again why I can’t afford to live without a roommate?
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