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Moises Alou drinks early, in vehicles

In his major-league career, Moises Alou tallied precisely 2,134 hits. In retirement, Moises Alou has devised no fewer than one way to live the Good Life. Witness …

Please allow me to save you exactly one Internet Hot Click and reveal what lies within …

That, friends, is a Presidente Light, which hideous people like Eno Sarris would describe as “passable” or “brutish” or “disconcertingly post-colonial.” However, Moises Alou, a gentleman both cocksure and sure of cock, knows that a Presidente Light is best enjoyed while morning is still virginal, the possibilities still puffy.

He is on the way to buy cologne for his van.

Not pictured: barbecue chips, ladies.