Mr. Carpenter’s Potty Mouth: A Vocal Interpretation

Chris Carpenter, who cusses at everyone all the time more than you’ve cussed at anyone anytime, was at it again last night. His most recent victim? Besides pearl-clutching lip readers everywhere, it seemed that People’s Champion Mike Napoli was the target of Mr. Carpenter’s maledictions. At this point, we must roll tape …

But first, an urgent word of caution: This going to be loud, and this is going to be dirty. So unless you have a pair of Gentleman’s Headphones at the ready or unless your place of work is dedicated to accommodating the whims of the Internetting Gentleman, you should hold off. Again: Loud. Dirty. Forthwith:

Well, Mr. Carpenter, I never!

This has not been the work of the NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team, but it totally should’ve been.

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8 Responses to “Mr. Carpenter’s Potty Mouth: A Vocal Interpretation”

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  1. Dizzy Valance says:

    How will Carpenter explain this to his children?

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    • juan pierre's mustache says:

      kids, when a team of players loves each other very much, sometimes they use words that mean things that daddy and mommy do in their alone time. in conclusion, you guys can say F*** if you get out of a 6th inning jam in a world series game.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Telo says:


      Carp is an idiot.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Jon says:

    He’ll explain it as “this is the game where I got owned by Napoli, and calling him names is all I could come up with, because I’m a loser””

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. Rob says:

    I don’t think we should make fun of someone who is obviously suffering from Tourette’s Syndrome.

    Wait, what? He DOESN’T suffer from Tourette’s? So he’s just an a-hole?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. Anthony says:

    This reminds me of the Winnebago man. If you haven’t seen it, YouTube Winnebago man, you will see one pissed of salesman, lol

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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