Mustache Bracket

If you follow college basketball (or even if you don’t), you may have taken part in the American tradition of filling out an NCAA Tournament bracket. There will come a time, if it hasn’t already happened, when your bracket will become busted, and you will lose interest in said tournament.

When that time comes, take solace in the following project I have worked very hard to create. It is a bracket of mustaches, for which to pick the best mustache in baseball. The present author has taken the time to (arbitrarily, as time was a concern) whittle down the candidates to the two finalists, below. Choose wisely, pick your winner, and click the image to reveal the answer.


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David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.

14 Responses to “Mustache Bracket”

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  1. Lichtenstein says:

    Joba has one liberally applied dirty sanchez right there. I vote Balboni

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  2. Balboni, for longevity’s sake.

    Jobas is the perfect tribute, prolonging the Super Mario Pizza Dough Whiffmonster archetype.

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  3. Lebron James says:


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  4. Dave in GB says:

    I thought the top picture was a softball player

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  5. MikeS says:

    You mean they aren’t both Steve Balboni?

    +9 Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. yaboynate says:

    I haven’t been psyched since… since that mustache was alive and well

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  7. Benzedrine says:

    Sal Fasano wants a word with you

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  8. In that picture Joba’s looks like the fake kind you can get at those dollar stores around halloween time.

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  9. AlexandertheMeh says:

    I didn’t know John C. Reilly signed with the Yanks.

    +10 Vote -1 Vote +1

    • Eric says:

      My immediate e thought was that I thought John C. Reiley was a Tiger in For the Love of the Game, and I didn’t remember his having a mustache in the movie. Then I realized my error.

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  10. juan pierres mustache says:


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  11. Gorman Thomas says:

    How can there be a bracket since we already know who wins it all?

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  12. henry says:

    i would love if there was an actual bracket, and this was just one of the starting rounds. that’s my vote. also steve balboni is the epitome of a goofball

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  13. Bryz says:

    Forget mustaches, do an entire facial hair bracket. I fully expect to see John Axford and Sam LeCure included.

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