Mustache Watch: Lance Lynn Gives Up

Lance Lynns White Flag

Slim down and shave up,
buy a tie and a cream-
colored polo.

Who needs a mountain
man’s beard if you can
have an IT man’s dribble
of chin hair.

And who needs Santa’s girth
if you can impress the ladies
with the Satan’s bony ribs.

In an unrelated note, I recently lost 35 pounds and shaved my beard. I’m sorry this is how you had to find out.




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Bradley writes for FanGraphs, The Hardball Times, Cubs Stats, DRaysBay and Homebody Abroad. Follow him on Twitter @BradleyWoodrum.

2 Responses to “Mustache Watch: Lance Lynn Gives Up”

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  1. Torrealba says:

    Yorvit Torrealba likes.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Ragamuffin says:

    At least his new goatee is smiling.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

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