Mustache Watch: Lance Lynn Gives Up

Lance Lynns White Flag

Slim down and shave up,
buy a tie and a cream-
colored polo.

Who needs a mountain
man’s beard if you can
have an IT man’s dribble
of chin hair.

And who needs Santa’s girth
if you can impress the ladies
with the Satan’s bony ribs.

In an unrelated note, I recently lost 35 pounds and shaved my beard. I’m sorry this is how you had to find out.




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Bradley writes for FanGraphs and The Hardball Times. Follow him on Twitter @BradleyWoodrum.


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Torrealba
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Torrealba
3 years 2 months ago

Yorvit Torrealba likes.

Ragamuffin
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Ragamuffin
3 years 2 months ago

At least his new goatee is smiling.

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