Nefarious Mad-Lib Opportunity: Cubs Giveaway Tweet
The Cubs have given something away. What they’ve actually given away is of little consequence to the present author and, I’m guessing, the present reader.
No, our concern is for what the Cubs could have — or should have — given away. Like a black-market kidney, perhaps. Or a baby prostitute, maybe. Or, as Dayn Perry will have suggested on his next podcast appearance (available later Friday, maybe, or Saturday), the withered remains of Colonel Sanders.
Carson Cistulli says terrible things at The New Enthusiast.
“QUAALUDES”
It’s ’70s night, right?
….Pieces of Theo Epstein’s Shattered Dreams….
At this point I think the answer is “Ryan Dempster?”
Tobacco flavored slush-puppies with Ryno’s nail clippings as sprinkles and a herpes laden kiss from Theo’s stalker?
“Second-Hand Copy of Yes’ 1973 Double LP ‘Tales From Topographic Oceans’ Signed By Robert Plant.”
Ian Stewart, no backsies.
A baby prostitute? Wtf, Carson?
Tickets to the 2015 World Series against the Miami Gators.
Alfonso Soriano.
“vagina”
Crippling Depression
I’m stupid. I thought they were giving away underscores.
I believe the giveaway was for a Senate seat. Only the contest was rigged. Fackin’ Illinois bastiges.By the way how does one tell if a baby is a prostitute? I mean are we talking about a baby that will be a Hooker in the future or a current infant street crawling slut
Harry Caray commemorative liver transplants
“steve bartman’s vintage autographed headphones” giveaway.
The Posthumous Work of Carson Cistulli.
beer vendor blow-up doll
Rizzo’s underpants.