Nerds Take Over Safeco: An Investigative Report


Nerds shall inherit the earth. But first, Safeco Field.

Saturday was the somewhat-annual USS Mariner and Lookout Landing trip to Safeco to watch the Mariners, and I was in attendance. Needless to say, when a bunch of us nerds get together, things are going to get weird. With that in mind, here’s some things of note about Nerds at a Baseball Game, 2012.

• Even though it was a group of nerds, I was the only one wearing a FanGraphs t-shirt. I mean, I know it’s a Mariners game and people want to show their team spirit, but some teams are more important.

• The folks sitting behind me — without prompting — said they like the way that the host of FanGraphs Audio said “Cespedes.” Unfortunately for said host, the fans did not know his name, rendering his life’s work pointless. Afforementioned host will continue to need daily motivation from Twitter.

• For the sponsored first pitch, yellow and pink blobs that looked like some sort of mouse walked — nay, danced — out to the mound. It was beyond creepy.

• Did you know Ichiro’s favorite actress is Sandra Bullock? I assume he saw her in Miss Congeniality 2 and fell in love.

• Simple Kind of Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd is one of the least intimidating and motivating at-bat songs in the majors. However, it’s still a quietly good song. So, of course, that’s what Dustin Ackley went with.




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Zach is the creator and co-author of RotoGraphs' Roto Riteup series, and RotoGraphs' second-longest tenured writer. You can follow him on twitter.

8 Responses to “Nerds Take Over Safeco: An Investigative Report”

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  1. Dennis says:

    Actually, not only is Ichiro’s favorite actress Sandra Bullock, but his favorite actor is Hugh Grant, and I assume his favorite movie is “Two Weeks Notice.” I was educated on all of this during a recent Mariners game via center-field scoreboard.

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    • I missed it yet again this year – I swear the Fates have conspired to keep me out of town for every meetup at least five years running. Otherwise, I would have stood in solidarity with you on the FanGraphs uniform.

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      • Kyle says:

        Sorry to have missed you, Patrick. And you, Zach. It would have been fun to shake your hand and say something awkward. Next time.

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  2. Jason says:

    Zach “I Felta Thi” Sanders

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  3. johndango says:

    Hahaha! That “Cespedes” comment was made by me! I was telling my buddy that I came with and I just couldn’t for the life of me remember Cistulli’s which made me feel really bad at the time, and worse now that it was overheard by the prestigious FanGraph’s people. My apologies. :P

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  4. pastadiving jeter says:

    isn’t the song just called simple man? is there any reason to advise edits on a notgraphs article? i’m not really that into this comment so im just gonna stop typing in the middle of wha

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  5. John Thacker says:

    I was at that game, along with my girlfriend’s lab. Good game to choose- King Felix versus Yu Darvish. Undoubtedly a high NERD score.

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