…News Ticker…


…Mets sign Ben McDonald to minor league contract…Jimmie Foxx arrested for DUI…Dodgers GM Ned Colletti says, “Steve Yeager will probably end up playing somewhere else this year”…Jack Morris returning for comeback attempt as backup second basemen and right-handed hitter off the bench…Infielder Jose Oquendo avoids arbitration…Padres claim C Terry Kennedy off waivers and invite him to spring training…Diamondbacks prospect D’Angelo Jimenez says his right testicle is “100 percent” after a winter of rehab…Nancy Pelosi told by a “team source” that Mike Boddicker will be available for the second week of spring training games…Agent Scott Boras has denied planting a rumor that Michael Bourn is the son of God and should therefore be signed by someone immediately…Albert Belle ready to report for spring training despite continued hip pain…Nick Esasky told WZBG radio that he was “not encouraged” by failure to learn a knuckleball in the offseason…R.A. Dickey contemplates building mountain behind Rogers Stadium, climbing it…Tigers general manager Randy Smith says the position of first base coach will be “mix and match” for the start of the season…Blue Jays manager Preston Gomez announced that Rollie Fingers will open the season as the team’s center fielder…Jeffrey Loria is named in records from the Miami-based Biogenesis clinic, which reportedly distributed the chicken pox virus to players and their children…The Astros are considering forfeiting the 2013 season…Cecil Fielder released a statement denying any involvement in the Watergate scandal…Mike Maddux is available and drawing interest from 16 teams…Rays designated three bags of sunflower seeds for assignment…Brewers prospect Cecil Cooper gives birth to a baby daughter…Russ Canzler placed on waivers, claimed, placed back on waivers, claimed again, placed back on waivers, once again claimed, and then placed on waivers…

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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3 years 6 months ago

i greatly appreciate this